I hate Tom Brady. And his coach. They’re just total d*cks and bullies that get riled up to beat on a subpar Jets team and act like it was a national tragedy that they screwed the pooch four years ago when they should have had a perfect season. Tom Brady thinks he’s the greatest quarterback ever and you’re an idiot if you disagree with him. Read the rest of this entry »
Every now and then, the NFL has a Sunday so weird, so pressure packed and so controversial that the results of it could potentially have long term effects on everything from draft seedings to playoff positions. December 18 was one of those Sundays. Read the rest of this entry »
The third installment of the weekly drama that is the NFL saw continued offensive explosions in the Northeast, some surprising upsets and some fallen soldiers in the league’s war of attrition. The marquee matchup of the early set featured 2011’s “Dream Team” the Philadelphia Eagles hosting the underwhelming New York Giants. Read the rest of this entry »
The most ironic thing about modern day dynasties is that many of them begin from the most inauspicious beginnings. Perhaps that symbolizes the beautiful aspect about life; we never know when “that moment” occurs. Read the rest of this entry »
2011 appears to be the NFL’s answer to the MLB steroid era. The lockout, years of pro-passing rule changes and obvious obliviousness to steroid use (I’m looking at you Peyton Hills) have offenses putting up NFL Blitz numbers from coast to coast. The marquee matchup in week two featured two of the Air Attack Era’s offensive juggernauts in the Patriots and Chargers. Read the rest of this entry »
A model of excellence and efficiency. That’s what the New England Patriots were in a 34-3 pillaging of the Buffalo Bills. The defensive forced 7 turnovers, the ground game went for 200 yards and Tom Brady threw 3 TDs. Ho-hum.
In addition to locking up the number one seed for the Patriots, this game should lock up the MVP for Brady. Michael Vick’s story deserves a Hollywood ending, but Brady’s faced more obstacles this season. Read the rest of this entry »
The weather is frigid, yet the race for the playoffs is as hot as it has ever been. With only three weeks left in the season after this week, the sense of urgency – for the teams that need it – are at code red levels. Those already planning offseason vacations find solace in knowing they leave coal in someone’s stocking. Week 14 had its fair share of notable games, upsets and a collapsed stadium roof for good measure. Read the rest of this entry »
As a Patriots fan, I’ll admit there were several times I missed Moss running like a gazelle like down the side line with multiple defensive back in tow. The offense, tops in the league in scoring coming into a revenge showdown, sputtered against the stout Baltimore defense for much of the day Read the rest of this entry »
The NFL playoffs are supposed to be an exposé of the best teams and players the league has to offer. Ideally this leads to classic games, complete with 4th quarter drives and heroic individual efforts. Sadly this week was more about delivering beatdowns, as the Bengals, Eagles and yes, my beloved Pats were exposed as playoff frauds. Below is the game-by-game rundown.
Bengals Vs. Jets
This was a sloppy game between two teams that aren’t very good. The Bengals offense was hindered by crushing injuries/deaths in their wide receiver corps. Amongst the walking wounded was Chad Ochocinco, out with a sore posterior from the raping delivered over three hours Jets DB by Darrelle Revis. Watching Revis was particularly annoying as a Pats fan, because he’s totally mastered Ty Law’s style, making just enough contact with the receiver downfield to disrupt routes without getting flagged. Rookie Shonn Greene was the star on offense, routinely beating Cincy’s contain with edge runs. The Jets still have no business planning Super Bowl parades, as the Bengals were a shell of their former selves and the worst playoff team. San Diego should kill the dreams of Firemen Ed and annoying Gang Greeners everywhere next week.
Cowboys Vs. Eagles
Many, including myself, were expecting the Eagles offense to awaken after laying an egg last week but Dallas shut down McNabb and company for a second straight week. Meanwhile Tony Romo put his playoff demons behind him with some help from Miles Austin and Roy Williams.
The big play though was Felix Jones 73 yard TD run, in which he simply ran past the Eagles defense. Few players in the NFL have such raw speed and his playmaking abilities should scare the shit out of other NFC fans.
Patriots Vs. Ravens
Hey Pats fans, it was a good decade for us. But what a deflating way to close it out, getting punked by Baltimore. Everyone, and I mean everyone, laid an egg for the Pats – from Randy Moss’ no show to “Pro-Bowler” Brandon Merriweather getting schooled by Ray Rice on the first play of the game on an 83 yard touchdown. And just like that the game was over. Well not really, first I had to languish through three hours of Brady two yard checkdowns and approximately 73 third and ones where Baltimore converted by flattening our front 7. The Ravens move on, although they’ll need more out of Joe Flacco to take down the Colts next week. The Pats meanwhile, have some serious questions to answer in the offseason and a long climb back to the top. How’s KG’s knee?
Cardinals Vs. Packers
At least we had one classic game. More bullets were fired than the North Hollywood shootout as both Aaron Rodgers and Kurt Warner were afforded ample time to sit in the pocket and pick their favorite targets. This game had a little bit of everything, including a ballsy onside kick call by Green Bay that helped them get back in the game. By the 4th quarter, both defenses were gassed and it was clear that whomever had the ball last would win. Which should have been Arizona, but kicker Neil Rackers shanked a 34 yard field goal with 10 seconds left. The game thus proceeded to OT, Green Bay won the toss and appeared to be in the driver’s seat. Then, one great defensive play from ‘Zona sealed the deal.
Can the Cards win another shootout in the SuperDome next week? Probably not. But you just can’t count this team out.
Screw you Rookwood Tap and, for that matter, screw you all Wrigleyville bars from the heart of the brojects on Clark and Addison. Screw your buffet with the cardboard eggs, death to your pouty waitresses (though I appreciate the fake boobs,) screw you for not having coffee and screw you for having a bathroom attendant at a sports bar. And a special fuck you for playing country music during the commercials. Could I at least get some Black Eyed Peas?
I don’t know if it was my hatred that rubbed off on the Bears or just their own mediocrity coming to the forefront, but the Monsters of the Midway got rolled by the visiting Cardinals. The Cards moved the ball at will against the beaten down Bears D with Larry Fitzgerald serving notice as to why he’s the best wide receiver in the game. He dominated whomever the Bears threw at him in single coverage and, if he wasn’t open, Kurt Warner was finding someone else. With a brutal schedule up ahead, the Bears look headed for under .500 and Lovie Smith looks like he’s on his way out. Read the rest of this entry »
Let’s just say the Patriots-Broncos game could make this a bitter affair. In case you missed it, the Patriots had plenty of chances to put the game away, but could not get the job done, with Tom Brady’s 4th quarter fumble proving particularly costly. Denver and their mustard striped unis move to 5-0 with the kind of defensive performance and mistake free offense that’s won Super Bowls before. I still think the Pats can take them in the playoffs though. Read the rest of this entry »
As I walked the ticker-taped streets of lower Manhattan on a cold day in February 2008, it was surreal to realize that I was at a championship parade that was not the New York Yankees. Reminding myself this was a football parade, the New York Giants did the impossible and defeated the juggernaut that was the New England Patriots – playing hooky from the 9-5 was well worth it. As you can see I’m a fan of the G-Men. But what I’ve learned from last season is anything is possible. I shitted on “aw-shucks” Eli along with the rest of the critics. But their run last year was highly admired and definitely respected, if or if not you liked them.
In football, there is no seven game series – that “go hard or go home” mentality is in design set up for the upset. For the 2008 season, we wait for the next underdog to emerge on top. Many fantasy leagues have been drafted and on Thursday night once again it begins. Already with headlines such as name change man Chad Ocho Cinco (85 is “ochenta y cinco” by the way), Hurricane Gustav in New Orleans, and the immortal Brett Favre’s “un-retirement,” sky’s the limit I suppose. So before tonight’s kick off party for the new season, Patrick M. & I gave our picks for who will take it in ’09. For the record we’re not excited cause Usher is performing. Natasha Bedingfield must die BTW. Read the rest of this entry »
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