2011 appears to be the NFL’s answer to the MLB steroid era. The lockout, years of pro-passing rule changes and obvious obliviousness to steroid use (I’m looking at you Peyton Hills) have offenses putting up NFL Blitz numbers from coast to coast. The marquee matchup in week two featured two of the Air Attack Era’s offensive juggernauts in the Patriots and Chargers. Read the rest of this entry »

So much for drama.  Save for the Chargers and Jets, the games this weekend were almost over before they started.  The teams who were supposed to win took care of business for the most part and one underdog is still in the hunt.  Setting up for what should be a couple of good match-ups next week, take one last look at how those teams got there. Read the rest of this entry »

Welp, we’re back again trying our hand at picking this week’s games.  Looking to redeem ourselves over our paltry showings last go around, save for Jason who was omitted on accident, we put the mp3′s down long enough to expound on the pigskin.  Maybe this week we’ll even get some picks right.  Y’all know the drill:  Read, call us out for our naïveté & discuss below. Read the rest of this entry »

There has been a lot of talk about NFL concussions recently (especially in this fantastic article from GQ). As a wrestling fan, I know all too well the deaths that can come from these devastating hits.

That’s why I implore someone to get LaDanian Tomlinson checked out.

Please. Read the rest of this entry »

“Time to separate the platinum from the white gold/Right from the door/The real from the fake, Ready rock from the raw…” – Jay-Z

With the NFL season winding down, Week 16 found teams looking to sew up playoff spots.  Although the top seeds were pretty much solidified, there were enough teams with hopes of a Wild Card berth jockeying for seeding to keep things interesting throughout the extended holiday weekend round of games. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s that time of year again. That’s right, the fantasy football playoffs. Where hours and hours of draft research, obsessive-compulsive checking of Stat Tracker and smack talk come down to which team gets lucky enough to have Washington’s third-string running back go off for 2 touchdowns. Why do so many people, myself included, waste their lives away on this shit? I’ll leave that one to the philosophers and so will owners of Andre Johnson (11 recs for 193 yds), Brandon Marshall (21 receptions) and, yes, Quinton Ganther (scoring his first and second career rushing TDs), who are now one step closer to the glory of a fake championship. Read the rest of this entry »

Look, not every NFL week can be a winner. Luckily most of us were still comatose from a 20,000 calorie weekend, so we didn’t notice that the week 12 slate was full of dud matchups between mediocre squadrons. Still football is football and a full slate of games will produce moments.

The mediocrity started on the grand day itself, as America continued to punish themselves and Detroit’s fine citizens by putting the Lions on national TV. Plus as an added bonus this year we got the Raiders. In fact the most exciting thing to happen in the three Turkey day games was Josh McDaniels inspiring profanity, captured for millions of fans as Roger Goodell spilled his pumpkin pie. Who doesn’t love a little awkward announcing?

The Eagles and Falcons spared themselves similar profanities by barely keeping their playoff hopes alive. Against JV squads Washington and Tampa respectively, the favored fowl franchises foully fucked with their fandom before finally pulling out fourth quarter wins. Roddy White was the hero for ATL pulling down the game winning TD pass from backup QB Chris Redman with less than 30 seconds left. Read the rest of this entry »

Before we get to the games I gotta vent first.

Screw you Rookwood Tap and, for that matter, screw you all Wrigleyville bars from the heart of the brojects on Clark and Addison. Screw your buffet with the cardboard eggs, death to your pouty waitresses (though I appreciate the fake boobs,) screw you for not having coffee and screw you for having a bathroom attendant at a sports bar. And a special fuck you for playing country music during the commercials. Could I at least get some Black Eyed Peas?

I don’t know if it was my hatred that rubbed off on the Bears or just their own mediocrity coming to the forefront, but the Monsters of the Midway got rolled by the visiting Cardinals. The Cards moved the ball at will against the beaten down Bears D with Larry Fitzgerald serving notice as to why he’s the best wide receiver in the game. He dominated whomever the Bears threw at him in single coverage and, if he wasn’t open, Kurt Warner was finding someone else. With a brutal schedule up ahead, the Bears look headed for under .500 and Lovie Smith looks like he’s on his way out. Read the rest of this entry »