The NFL playoffs are supposed to be an exposé of the best teams and players the league has to offer. Ideally this leads to classic games, complete with 4th quarter drives and heroic individual efforts. Sadly this week was more about delivering beatdowns, as the Bengals, Eagles and yes, my beloved Pats were exposed as playoff frauds. Below is the game-by-game rundown.

Bengals Vs. Jets

This was a sloppy game between two teams that aren’t very good. The Bengals offense was hindered by crushing injuries/deaths in their wide receiver corps. Amongst the walking wounded was Chad Ochocinco, out with a sore posterior from the raping delivered over three hours Jets DB by Darrelle Revis. Watching Revis was particularly annoying as a Pats fan, because he’s totally mastered Ty Law’s style, making just enough contact with the receiver downfield to disrupt routes without getting flagged. Rookie Shonn Greene was the star on offense, routinely beating Cincy’s contain with edge runs. The Jets still have no business planning Super Bowl parades, as the Bengals were a shell of their former selves and the worst playoff team. San Diego should kill the dreams of Firemen Ed and annoying Gang Greeners everywhere next week.

Cowboys Vs. Eagles

Many, including myself, were expecting the Eagles offense to awaken after laying an egg last week but Dallas shut down McNabb and company for a second straight week. Meanwhile Tony Romo put his playoff demons behind him with some help from Miles Austin and Roy Williams.

The big play though was Felix Jones 73 yard TD run, in which he simply ran past the Eagles defense. Few players in the NFL have such raw speed and his playmaking abilities should scare the shit out of other NFC fans.

Patriots Vs. Ravens

Hey Pats fans, it was a good decade for us. But what a deflating way to close it out, getting punked by Baltimore. Everyone, and I mean everyone, laid an egg for the Pats – from Randy Moss’ no show to “Pro-Bowler” Brandon Merriweather getting schooled by Ray Rice on the first play of the game on an 83 yard touchdown. And just like that the game was over. Well not really, first I had to languish through three hours of Brady two yard checkdowns and approximately 73 third and ones where Baltimore converted by flattening our front 7. The Ravens move on, although they’ll need more out of Joe Flacco to take down the Colts next week. The Pats meanwhile, have some serious questions to answer in the offseason and a long climb back to the top. How’s KG’s knee?

Cardinals Vs. Packers

At least we had one classic game. More bullets were fired than the North Hollywood shootout as both Aaron Rodgers and Kurt Warner were afforded ample time to sit in the pocket and pick their favorite targets. This game had a little bit of everything, including a ballsy onside kick call by Green Bay that helped them get back in the game. By the 4th quarter, both defenses were gassed and it was clear that whomever had the ball last would win. Which should have been Arizona, but kicker Neil Rackers shanked a 34 yard field goal with 10 seconds left. The game thus proceeded to OT, Green Bay won the toss and appeared to be in the driver’s seat. Then, one great defensive play from ‘Zona sealed the deal.

Can the Cards win another shootout in the SuperDome next week? Probably not. But you just can’t count this team out.

“Time to separate the platinum from the white gold/Right from the door/The real from the fake, Ready rock from the raw…” – Jay-Z

With the NFL season winding down, Week 16 found teams looking to sew up playoff spots.  Although the top seeds were pretty much solidified, there were enough teams with hopes of a Wild Card berth jockeying for seeding to keep things interesting throughout the extended holiday weekend round of games. Read the rest of this entry »

Quite a bit went down in between Sundays in the NFL as ESPN actually filled its airwaves with news and highlights instead of spouting off randomness. Okay, they made time for plenty of Randy Moss “news” (I think he admitted to having sex with Tiger Woods), but between the tragic yet bizarre death of Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry and both undefeated teams playing mid-week night games, it was all NFL, all the time. Read the rest of this entry »

Before we get to the games I gotta vent first.

Screw you Rookwood Tap and, for that matter, screw you all Wrigleyville bars from the heart of the brojects on Clark and Addison. Screw your buffet with the cardboard eggs, death to your pouty waitresses (though I appreciate the fake boobs,) screw you for not having coffee and screw you for having a bathroom attendant at a sports bar. And a special fuck you for playing country music during the commercials. Could I at least get some Black Eyed Peas?

I don’t know if it was my hatred that rubbed off on the Bears or just their own mediocrity coming to the forefront, but the Monsters of the Midway got rolled by the visiting Cardinals. The Cards moved the ball at will against the beaten down Bears D with Larry Fitzgerald serving notice as to why he’s the best wide receiver in the game. He dominated whomever the Bears threw at him in single coverage and, if he wasn’t open, Kurt Warner was finding someone else. With a brutal schedule up ahead, the Bears look headed for under .500 and Lovie Smith looks like he’s on his way out. Read the rest of this entry »

If September bring optimism for fans of football than October is the month where the contenders and pretenders start to separate themselves. Sunday saw several showdowns with dreams of raising the Lombardi trophy.

– New Orleans smacked around the upstart New York Jets, silencing (for a few moments anyways,) coach Rex Ryan and his boisterous bunch. QB Mark Sanchez, praised for his poise, finally looked like a rookie. With Brees and Co. on offense and a new and improved D, the NO looks unstoppable going into the bye week.

– My Patriots held on for a statement victory against the previously undefeated Baltimore Ravens. New England outplayed Baltimore all day. Brandon Meriweather was doing his best Ronnie Lott impression on D while Brady and the offense continue to improve. Read the rest of this entry »

“…they can’t jump with me! Gahh-llee!”

A quick succession of events took Randy Moss from best to worst to best again — or thereabouts — over a single year.

First, he was slaughtering motherfuckers as an integral piece of Marshall’s Thundering Herd and led the team to a Mid-American Conference title with Chad Pennington. He seemed a top Heisman contender after the ’97 season, and looked pissed behind his sunglasses as he watched Charles Woodson walk away with the honor.

Then, though he was slated to go high in the NFL draft, Randy didn’t get taken until the 21st pick came around. It was as if the Vikings looked around and said, “Well shoot… I can’t believe he’s still up for grabs.” Then voted on it. Then said “I guess” and took him. But Randy proved he was going to keep folks interested when after his first season he was named Offensive Rookie of the Year with 17 TDs. Legal troubles be dashed, outside of Peyton Manning, he’s still the most prolific player from the class of 1998.

They still can’t jump with Randy Moss… Gahh-lee!!

TSS Crew member Jesse H. had the pleasure of living and breathing the same Minn-ahh-soh-dah air as Mr. Moss, ’round about that time. Knowing he was/is an avid Vikings fan, I asked Jesse to recount the era… Read the rest of this entry »