Deciding on whether or not to go with the above as a title was torture. That’s somebody’s child, you know? But when you take the time to fire up a computer, hit record and film yourself blowing a blood vessel in your neck in a completely empty room, isn’t that almost like welcoming any and all jokes? Yep, I thought so. Read the rest of this entry »

Unless the 49ers, within a week, forget how to play football, lose every game the rest of the season and finagle a deal with the Dolphins, Chiefs or Colts, that whole “Andrew Luck to the Niners” prediction is out of the window. Read the rest of this entry »

And we all thought 2011 was the year of Philly didn’t we? One week in October has killed both the Phillies and the Eagles’ seasons. The you-shall-not-call-them-the Dream Team moved to 1-4 on the season following a defeat to the AFC East’s rising dynasty, the Buffalo Bills. Mental mistakes on offense killed the Eagles as Michael Vick gave up four picks to the ball-hawking Bills defense. While the Eagles’ high-priced secondary shutdown Buffalo’s passing game, the D had no answer for Fred Jackson who put up 200 yards of offense himself. Read the rest of this entry »

The transformation is complete, the roller coaster ride is entering the loading dock, the perfect storm has been weathered. No matter how you want to articulate matters, things just came full circle for star quarterback Michael Vick yesterday as he signed a six year, $100 million contract with the Eagles, Read the rest of this entry »

It looks like the Philadelphia Eagles’ free-agent bonanza isn’t quite finished just yet. Last night they nabbed Steve Smith from the NFC East rival New York Giants, supposedly before 2008 champs could even throw in a counter-offer. Now it’s definitely worth noting that the receiver is still recovering from last year’s microfracture surgery, Read the rest of this entry »

The Phillies have made something of a habit out of nabbing premium talent on the eve of MLB’s trade deadline (picking up Cliff Lee in ’09 and Roy Oswalt in ’10), and this year was no different as Philadelphia acquired All-Star right fielder Hunter Pence from the Houston Astros. Read the rest of this entry »

Chokers.

What else do you call the New York Giants after yesterday’s fiasco? At home, in an epic battle for NFC supremacy, the Giants had total control over the rival Eagles with a three touchdown lead in the second half. Plenty of time though, for Michael Vick to go into Madden mode. Vick gashed the previously ferocious Giants D with improvised rollouts and runs. A Vick to Jeremy Maclin touchdown with two minutes left leveled the game. After a failed Giants drive, the teams were a punt out of bounds away from overtime.

But Giants punter Matt Dodge had other ideas, inexplicably kicking to the always dangerous DeSean Jackson. A sliver of space was all Jackson needed to run to glory.

Head coach Tom Coughlin was sure to publicly humiliate his player post-game, deflecting from the fact that his team suffered a total collapse. A tough game at Green Bay looms and it remains to be seen if the Giants can make the playoffs and Coughlin can keep his job, particularly with Bill Cowher openly asking for it.

In the other marquee matchup of Pennsylvania and New Jersey based teams, the Jets refused to let their season die, eking out a win in a snowy Heinz Field. As expected, defenses dominated as both teams came into the game struggling to put points on the board. Ferocious hits were the name of the game, with several borderline cheap shots that may have James Harrison making another donation to Roger Goodell’s charity of choice. The Jets were able to cobble together 22 points on a kickoff return, a safety and a few well put together drives. A last gasp effort from Ben Roethlisberger gave the Steelers a last second shot at victory, but the Jets defense held firm.

The NFC playoff picture came into focus with Atlanta’s road shalacking of Seahawks and New Orleans’ loss to the Ravens. The Falcons were as usual led by Matt Ryan and Roddy White in a battle against the “first-place” Seattle team and look to lock up the one seed next week. The Ravens were led by Ray Rice’s giant day (230 yards, 2 TDs) meaning every fantasy nerd who drafted him in the first round will win their consolation playoff bracket. Too little, too late Ray.

Quick Hits

– Fitting that Tim Tebow’s first NFL start comes on the birthweek of our Lord and Savior. Young Timothy did better than some would expect, rumbling for a 40 yard TD on a quarterback draw. Unfortunately, not even St. Timothy could deliver a win for the Broncos.

– The Lions needed overtime to do it, but they notched their first road victory since 2007 by battering the bruised Bucs. Tampa’s playoff hopes are slipping away quickly.

– Washington fans should be worried by Rex Grossman’s 4 TD performance as it may con Mike Shanahan into keeping him around for 2011. Of minor note though, the Skins still lost and Sexy Rexy threw an INT on the final drive.

– Patriot Dan Connolly lived every offensive lineman’s dream turning a pooch kick into a near touchdown. His 71 yard kick off return was the longest by an offensive lineman in history.

The weather is frigid, yet the race for the playoffs is as hot as it has ever been. With only three weeks left in the season after this week, the sense of urgency – for the teams that need it – are at code red levels. Those already planning offseason vacations find solace in knowing they leave coal in someone’s stocking. Week 14 had its fair share of notable games, upsets and a collapsed stadium roof for good measure. Read the rest of this entry »

The NFL playoffs are supposed to be an exposé of the best teams and players the league has to offer. Ideally this leads to classic games, complete with 4th quarter drives and heroic individual efforts. Sadly this week was more about delivering beatdowns, as the Bengals, Eagles and yes, my beloved Pats were exposed as playoff frauds. Below is the game-by-game rundown.

Bengals Vs. Jets

This was a sloppy game between two teams that aren’t very good. The Bengals offense was hindered by crushing injuries/deaths in their wide receiver corps. Amongst the walking wounded was Chad Ochocinco, out with a sore posterior from the raping delivered over three hours Jets DB by Darrelle Revis. Watching Revis was particularly annoying as a Pats fan, because he’s totally mastered Ty Law’s style, making just enough contact with the receiver downfield to disrupt routes without getting flagged. Rookie Shonn Greene was the star on offense, routinely beating Cincy’s contain with edge runs. The Jets still have no business planning Super Bowl parades, as the Bengals were a shell of their former selves and the worst playoff team. San Diego should kill the dreams of Firemen Ed and annoying Gang Greeners everywhere next week.

Cowboys Vs. Eagles

Many, including myself, were expecting the Eagles offense to awaken after laying an egg last week but Dallas shut down McNabb and company for a second straight week. Meanwhile Tony Romo put his playoff demons behind him with some help from Miles Austin and Roy Williams.

The big play though was Felix Jones 73 yard TD run, in which he simply ran past the Eagles defense. Few players in the NFL have such raw speed and his playmaking abilities should scare the shit out of other NFC fans.

Patriots Vs. Ravens

Hey Pats fans, it was a good decade for us. But what a deflating way to close it out, getting punked by Baltimore. Everyone, and I mean everyone, laid an egg for the Pats – from Randy Moss’ no show to “Pro-Bowler” Brandon Merriweather getting schooled by Ray Rice on the first play of the game on an 83 yard touchdown. And just like that the game was over. Well not really, first I had to languish through three hours of Brady two yard checkdowns and approximately 73 third and ones where Baltimore converted by flattening our front 7. The Ravens move on, although they’ll need more out of Joe Flacco to take down the Colts next week. The Pats meanwhile, have some serious questions to answer in the offseason and a long climb back to the top. How’s KG’s knee?

Cardinals Vs. Packers

At least we had one classic game. More bullets were fired than the North Hollywood shootout as both Aaron Rodgers and Kurt Warner were afforded ample time to sit in the pocket and pick their favorite targets. This game had a little bit of everything, including a ballsy onside kick call by Green Bay that helped them get back in the game. By the 4th quarter, both defenses were gassed and it was clear that whomever had the ball last would win. Which should have been Arizona, but kicker Neil Rackers shanked a 34 yard field goal with 10 seconds left. The game thus proceeded to OT, Green Bay won the toss and appeared to be in the driver’s seat. Then, one great defensive play from ‘Zona sealed the deal.

Can the Cards win another shootout in the SuperDome next week? Probably not. But you just can’t count this team out.

This is what we’ve all been waiting for ain’t it?

Another season has come to a close and now it’s time to get down to business.  We’re down the twelve teams and all have one goal in mind.  The Super Bowl.  Some teams have better chances than others, but it begins with the Wild Card.  With the last two Super Bowl Champs starting out as Wild Card qualifiers, every team has to believe that if they get on a run that anything is possible.  Read through the as the Crew states how we see things going down this weekend. Read the rest of this entry »

“Time to separate the platinum from the white gold/Right from the door/The real from the fake, Ready rock from the raw…” – Jay-Z

With the NFL season winding down, Week 16 found teams looking to sew up playoff spots.  Although the top seeds were pretty much solidified, there were enough teams with hopes of a Wild Card berth jockeying for seeding to keep things interesting throughout the extended holiday weekend round of games. Read the rest of this entry »

For the third and fourth time in the last five years, Indy and New Orleans enter December as unbeatens. Both teams maintained the course on their quest for perfection, Indy with a routine win over the feisty Titans (sorry Gotty™) and New Orleans with anything but against the Washington Redskins.

Down to the Skins, the Saints got a key touchdown after wide receiver Robert Meachem forced and recovered an improbable fumble after a (terrible) Brees interception. That’s a once or twice a year in the NFL play. Read the rest of this entry »

Look, not every NFL week can be a winner. Luckily most of us were still comatose from a 20,000 calorie weekend, so we didn’t notice that the week 12 slate was full of dud matchups between mediocre squadrons. Still football is football and a full slate of games will produce moments.

The mediocrity started on the grand day itself, as America continued to punish themselves and Detroit’s fine citizens by putting the Lions on national TV. Plus as an added bonus this year we got the Raiders. In fact the most exciting thing to happen in the three Turkey day games was Josh McDaniels inspiring profanity, captured for millions of fans as Roger Goodell spilled his pumpkin pie. Who doesn’t love a little awkward announcing?

The Eagles and Falcons spared themselves similar profanities by barely keeping their playoff hopes alive. Against JV squads Washington and Tampa respectively, the favored fowl franchises foully fucked with their fandom before finally pulling out fourth quarter wins. Roddy White was the hero for ATL pulling down the game winning TD pass from backup QB Chris Redman with less than 30 seconds left. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m pretty sure this was the only way that McNabb wanted to see Vick under center in September.  But come 1 pm today, the Michael Vick era will officially begin in Philadelphia. Read the rest of this entry »

One thing I’ve always tried to remain in life was loyal. Loyal to my friends, loyal to my family and loyal to my favorite sports teams/players. Which is exactly why I’ve had mixed feelings on Mike Vick’s signing. Read the rest of this entry »