“Time to separate the platinum from the white gold/Right from the door/The real from the fake, Ready rock from the raw…” – Jay-Z

With the NFL season winding down, Week 16 found teams looking to sew up playoff spots.  Although the top seeds were pretty much solidified, there were enough teams with hopes of a Wild Card berth jockeying for seeding to keep things interesting throughout the extended holiday weekend round of games. Read the rest of this entry »

Before we get to the games I gotta vent first.

Screw you Rookwood Tap and, for that matter, screw you all Wrigleyville bars from the heart of the brojects on Clark and Addison. Screw your buffet with the cardboard eggs, death to your pouty waitresses (though I appreciate the fake boobs,) screw you for not having coffee and screw you for having a bathroom attendant at a sports bar. And a special fuck you for playing country music during the commercials. Could I at least get some Black Eyed Peas?

I don’t know if it was my hatred that rubbed off on the Bears or just their own mediocrity coming to the forefront, but the Monsters of the Midway got rolled by the visiting Cardinals. The Cards moved the ball at will against the beaten down Bears D with Larry Fitzgerald serving notice as to why he’s the best wide receiver in the game. He dominated whomever the Bears threw at him in single coverage and, if he wasn’t open, Kurt Warner was finding someone else. With a brutal schedule up ahead, the Bears look headed for under .500 and Lovie Smith looks like he’s on his way out. Read the rest of this entry »

Week 6’s headliner saw undefeated New Orleans and New York meet up in the Superdome to determine NFC supremacy. The Saints made it a rout as Drew Brees laughed in the faces of New York’s vaunted pass rush, leading New Orleans to 34 first half points. Gotty™ called shenanigans on the Saints, claiming they’ll blow it in December. Yet if they can secure home field advantage, it’ll be mighty hard for a team to win a playoff game in the NO. For now Brees, Marques Colston and company can relax with some bourbon and beignets as alpha dogs in the conference. Read the rest of this entry »

Word on the streets is New York’s real-life Mr. Mag…nah can’t do it.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, their governor David Paterson just might actually pardon Plaxico Burress for being a real-life Cheddar Bob. (O.K., that one went over well).

Now who would most likely oppose this move? Surely people who despise the notion that celebrities and those with sizeable bank accounts don’t deserve a break like the next man, and New York Jets fans. Read the rest of this entry »

Once upon a time, on the banks of the Red Cedar, former MSU football phenom Plaxico Burress shot himself in New York. If you’ve ever seen 300, you know Spartans are willing to lose an eye and keep fighting, so we needn’t worry about Plaxico’s future. He plead guilty to a weapons charge and will serve two years in the clink, so we may as well close the chapter on this book of Michigan-affiliated numbskullery now. What we really need to look at is why a 12-year-old shot and killed a woman in Detroit. Read the rest of this entry »

Elisha Manning has 97 million reasons to smile.

The Giants dropped a six year contract extension that will grant him about 15 mill a year. This deal makes him the highest paid player in the NFL and bests Peyton’s bottom line by a good seven figures. Of course the “short bus Eli” jokes will pursue despite the payday.

As a Giants fan that’s seen his ups and downs throughout his career, I don’t think he’s worth damn near 100 million bucks. Yes, he’s gotten better each year and the Giants wouldn’t have that chip if he didn’t go off late in the year and maintained momentum in the post season. Still it seems a bit excessive: even for one of the most notable quarterbacks in the L.

He won’t have much time to celebrate since he’ll have to get used to up and coming talent. Plaxico is too busy getting indicted and well-dressed Toomer signed with the Chiefs. That leaves Steve Smith (the layaway edition) and Kevin Boss really. I’m sure Hakeem Nicks will get his chances this year but it looks like Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw will have their work cut out for them.

While the Giants are due for an interesting year, at least Eli is the superior Manning going by the check book.

Manning Agrees To Six-Year, $97 Million Deal With Giants [SI]

Eli Manning and Nine Other Overpaid A-Holes [Open Sports]

On Monday, former New York Giant wide receiver Plaxico Burress was indicted on charges of possession of a loaded weapon and reckless endangerment…for shooting himself in the leg. Read the rest of this entry »

Unless you play receiver for the New York Giants. Pause on the title, but this is becoming a trend nobody should be looking to follow.

ESPN is reporting that New York Giants WR Taya Biddle is recovering from gunshot wounds to his hand and leg while visiting his family in Decatur, Alabama.

Decatur police said in a statement Thursday that Biddle was shot outside a residence and was treated and released from a hospital. Police said there was no evidence Biddle caused or provoked the shooting. Biddle was promoted from the Giants’ practice squad after receiver Plaxico Burress was suspended for a game in September.

How ironic. Either Biddle’s hometown rivals Lil’ Haiti or Plaxico sought the services of a witch doctor to curse his spot before the team gave him the pink slip. Now. Let’s do some arithmetic ladies and gents because as you know, men and women tell tall tales, but numbers keep it factual. Read the rest of this entry »