Tisha Marie

Attack Of The Cicadas [Nashville Scene]

Batman Was Arrested in Michigan [Gawker]

Child, Please! The 10 Most Misbehaved Celebrity Kids [Vibe]

This May Be The Greatest Bill Murray Photo Ever Taken [Uproxx] Read the rest of this entry »

Charlie Sheen’s saga never really piqued my interest and not too many Hollywood stories do. None except for Lindsay Lohan’s, which happens to be my guilty pleasure when it comes to celeb trainwrecks. For the fourth time since 2007, LiLo found out today that she does not get to pass go and goes straight to jail for violating her probation by stealing a necklace from a Venice jewelry shop.

“Lindsay has been remanded into custody and taken to the basement of the courthouse for booking. Lindsay’s lawyer has said she’ll appeal, which means Lindsay is entitled to post bail.”

Lohan was also ordered to complete 480 hours of community service — 360 of those hours must be performed at the Downtown Women’s Center, so Lindsay can see how needy women have to live. The remaining 120 hours will be served at the L.A. County morgue.”

Judge Sautner explained that Lindsay should have called the store and notified the owners about the necklace sooner. She waited several weeks and returned the necklace after finding out the cops were about to raid her house.” [TMZ]

Pardon my language but the bitch can’t catch a break. Only famous person more prone to f*cking up would have to be Gucci Mane.

Faren

And Here’s Your 2011 NCAA Bracket [With Leather]

50 Cent Says He’s Never Made “Wack” Music [GOT]

D’Angelo Takes Disorderly Conduct Plea In NYC Case [Yahoo]

Casket Sharp: Kimbo Slice [C&D] Read the rest of this entry »

Johanie Taylor

How Smart Are You? Take The NFL’s Wonderlic Test [Bleacher Report]

Tatyana Ali Talks “Fresh Prince” Reunion [GOT]

Gwyneth Paltrow’s Dream Duet Partner: Jay-Z [Billboard]

Wrong Lyrics Christina: Meme Alert [Blippitt] Read the rest of this entry »

Khamani Fox

Scarface Locked Up for Child Support, Federal Charges [XXL]

Before Booty Jumped the Shark [Brainiac Society]

What’s So Wrong With Being Obese? [Uproxx]

Girl Scout Cookies I Wish Existed [College Humor] Read the rest of this entry »

Stephanie Florence

Five Reasons It’s Okay to Like WikiLeaks [The Smoking Jacket]

Amber Rose x Maliah Michel Turn Houston Into Hollywood [Blogxilla]

Teen Found Guilty of Murdering Derrion Albert [The Root]

Ray J Says He Wasn’t Smashing Whitney Houston & Talks About Lil’ Kim [TUD] Read the rest of this entry »

Summer Walker

20 Banned Album Covers [Billboard]

CNN Cares About Black People [Maurice Garland]

Waka Flocka Has A Halloween Mask [Urban Daily]

The 25 Most Depressing Sports Franchises [Bleacher Report] Read the rest of this entry »

When word began to spread that Hollywood stylist and reality TV starlet Rachael Zoe might be expecting a baby, men across the country started to stock up on Tylenol™. Thing is, it’s not that we don’t want the pencil-thin shopaholic to procreate, it’s just that we’re not sure if our ailing planet can handle the added abundance of idiocy that would come as a result. Unfortunately, the same can be said for a lot of females making the headlines these days, leading us to wonder; where are all the level-headed ladies at?

While you ponder the unanswerable, here are ten females we hope have protection on deck 24/7.

10. Willow Palin — We’re well aware Sarah Palin’s second youngest daughter isn’t even old enough to be smoking cigarettes, let alone Eskimo pole. However, since sister Bristol pushed one out before graduating high school and is now being cheered on by her family for tearing off guy’s shirts during prime-time TV, we should be crossing our fingers this little Tea Party princess doesn’t take up knocking on wood and turn into another neurotic news story.

9. Kathy Griffin – Considering no one I’ve ever met can even stand the voice of Bravo’s queen of obnoxiousness, I’m surprised Miss Griffin sees the amount of airtime she does. Luckily for all of us, we won’t have to worry about the fire spreading, because this D-Listed ginger says she doesn’t even want kids.

8. Heidi Montag – This Play-Doh face makes bad decisions, surrounds herself with destructive egomaniacs and cries herself out of tough situations. Does that sound like someone who’s fit to raise rugrats to you?

7. Tila Tequila — Apparently, this realiTV temptress will be regurgitating a shot of love a little differently within the coming months. Despite our prayers the news wasn’t true, it seems this always puckered vomit-inducer might actually be having some poor bastard’s baby. It might be a surrogate for someone else. It might even be The Game’s. Either way, everyone involved is hoping she drinks it back into the womb.

6. Snooki – Considering how much of a whore this orange oompa-loompa portrays herself as on The Jersey Shore, I half-way expect a baby to just fly out of her Italian punani every time she does one of those patented dance-floor cartwheels.

5. Kat Stacks – The illustrious Kat Stacks inclusion comes specifically on behalf of her would-be child. Growing up the byproduct of such sleaze would be nearly impossible, especially when your only inheritance consists of STDs and a nameless father. She needs to sew that thing shut, already.

4. Foxy Brown – While it’s bad enough the Ill Na Na can’t arrive at her own gigs and make money preforming the songs that made her famous, it’s the fact Foxy’s deaf that concerns us the most. How will Brooklyn’s Don Diva hear her kid crying when she’s busy popping pain pills and assaulting local service workers?

3. Tyra Banks – Tyra might be bad as hell, but Tyra is also crazy. Can you imagine being her kid, getting bad grades and having that 7-foot-tall banshee screaming at you? Not only that, but her show topics consist of failed marriages and poop, so her motherly-advice isn’t necessarily qualified.

2. Lindsay Lohan – This one’s just a no-brainer. If Lindsay Lowlife had a kid, the media would cause such an uproar, the brain-damaged child would probably be abducted by some poor schmuck who couldn’t take hearing about it anymore. Locked up or tied down, Lindsay would be none the wiser.

1. Oprah Winfrey – Yes. Oprah made the list. It’s not that we don’t like Oprah and how she’s constantly making the world a better place and all. Really, it’s just that we don’t want all that power to be passed on to one person. We want some damn pie, too.

Gina Ramos

Which Lindsay Lohan Mug Shot Is The Hottest? [BroBible]

The 10 Most Outrageous Floyd Mayweather, Jr. Moments: Boxing’s Bad Boy [The BVX]

The 9 Best/Worst Song Title Metaphors [Urban Daily]

High Schoolers Show How To Tackle [With Leather] Read the rest of this entry »

Mimi

Maxim Cover Girl: Lindsay Lohan [Maxim]

50 Cent’s Desperate Cry For Attention [The BVX]

The 25 Most Ridiculous Pen & Pixel Album Covers of All Time [Complex]

And The Most Stolen Vehicle Of 2009 Was… [TLF] Read the rest of this entry »

Jennifer Roman

Why Robots With Vaginas Are a Bad Idea [TSJ]

Florida Man Loves The Swimsuit Issue [With Leather]

Megan Fox Is In Her Underwear Again [F-Listed]

Mike Tyson Expecting His Eighth Child [Black Voices] Read the rest of this entry »

All jurors on the board of celebrity justice can prepare to have an ulcer for the abominable Snow Queen herself is now free from the belly of the beast. Two weeks weren’t even enough to unpack all her cosmetics, let alone get her scruples in order. But she’s off to another 90 day vacay in reha…pardon me. A substance abuse treatment facility. Read the rest of this entry »

Kalia

5 Secrets Your Waiter Doesn’t Want You To Know [The Consumerist]

Freddie Gibbs Talks Major Label Saga, “Str8 Killa,” Rapping DJs & Rick Ross [Complex]

Essence Editor-in-Chief Responds To Controversy Over White Editor [The BVX]

Plot Of Charlie St. Cloud Recreated With Review Quotes [Film Drunk] Read the rest of this entry »

Katherine Monslave

Kerry Washington’s 5 Steamiest Love Scenes [The BVX]

Joakim Noah Wants To Get High [With Leather]

Bawseology: Rick Ross’ Lyrics By The Numbers [Complex] Read the rest of this entry »

I sure do love to rubberneck @ a good wreck and Lindsay qualifies for the role. She’s set to cover the next issue of Complex and that should be hitting newstands soon, but probably not faster than she can go in and do a short Hollywood jail stint. Whatever. The further she falls from grace, the closer we get to a porn appearance.

See the rest of the gallery @ Complex.