There’s Germany, Netherlands, and Spain sitting atop their respective groups. But then there’s France and Italy sitting rock bottom of theirs. The collective failure of European squads, especially in comparison to their South American rivals, can be attributed to the long domestic seasons that also caused so many injuries prior to the World Cup. Read the rest of this entry »

On paper, England should win in a few hours. Badly. By at least five goals. With the exception of goalkeeper Tim Howard — who would start for England — not a single member of the US roster would make the England squad. Not even beloved Landycakes. Read the rest of this entry »

Courtesy of those crazy Frenchies at Evian

American advertising agencies be slacking, yo.

It’s like their creativity goes on extended vacations and drinking binges until the Super Bowl and then we see hangover attempts at greatness and nothing more for another year or so. Makes you wish you could go somewhere to get away from all the televised wackness. It is for this reason that Tour Guide Contra™ is here. In hopes of broadening your horizons and keeping you entertained, I bring you 5 commercials that you should see from 5 countries you may want to consider visiting some time in the near future.

Let’s begin with a favorite of mine. Read the rest of this entry »