In news sure to keep opposing AL Central pitchers up at night, the Detroit Tigers have agreed in principal to sign slugging first baseman Prince Fielder to a nine-year deal, reportedly north of $200 million. The deal ensures that the Tigers Read the rest of this entry »

So the mistake was made. Everybody knows it. Armando Galarraga remained poised yet distracted, even after Chevrolet mistook him for Prince and awarded him a little red Corvette for his imperfect game. The douche of the week, Jim Joyce, used his tears as beard softener as he openly admitted to his mistake and apologized with heartfelt man pleas. Fans and sportscasters alike applauded Galarraga while still holding out for the silver lining that Commissioner Bud Selig would exercise his presidential powers and right the wrong. Read the rest of this entry »

In case you’ve been too busy watching real sports to notice, MLB pitching has gotten much better thanks to the fact that hitters have stopped injecting steroids into their bums. There have been two perfect games in the last month, only the 19th and 20th instances in MLB history. Last night was going to be the 21st thanks to Detroit Tigers pitcher, Armando Galarraga. That was until umpire Jim Joyce remembered section 5 paragraph 12 of the Unwritten Sports Manual that states that nobody from Detroit shall ever know the feeling of joy again. Read the rest of this entry »

If you skipped last night’s heart-attack-inducing single-game playoff between the Minnesota Twins and Detroit Tigers for the AL Central Championship based solely on an anti-baseball bias, I feel sorry for you. Read the rest of this entry »

The Man tore down what remained of Tiger Stadium the other day, much to the chagrin of local yokels and Ty Cobb fans the world over. It was the kind of old-timey stadium that made you want to eat Cracker Jack from a box, bring your little-league glove (just in case of that pop fly) and pray that someone someone SOMEone would hit a homer into the lights; showering sparks and glass over the outfield.

Me? Yeah, I mean, I was a little disheartened to hear the news. But it was a foregone conclusion the building of Sparky Anderson and big-ass Cecil Fielder would fall. It had become Read the rest of this entry »