No offense to my Gemini brother Beware because I like Brooklyn too. But I’ve never been a huge fan of chesticles. Never understood the fascination with them aside from the occasional glance down a blouse here or there. I’m not even sure if my mom breastfed me so maybe it stretches all the way back to my infancy.

But I’ve always been a fan of eyes. Sweet, seductive, alluring eyes. Eyes that tell a story. Searing, peering eyes that say “If you touch me, I’ll scald you…but you’ll love every moment of it.” Hilary Rhoda has those eyes (among other prominent features). And in my eyes, she should’ve snagged that SI cover. Then again, Bar Refaeli as a repeat covergirl or even Damaris Lewis wouldn’t have been slouch choices either.

On account of the engulfing amount of actually-naked women available upon a click of my mouse, I can’t say I’m too caught up by the new SI Swimsuit Edition cover.

Still, for the sake of disparagingly having to tag posts NSFW, I figured I’d share this with the hopes that those of us who simply want to stick it to The Man will blatantly flaunt and share this titillating spread of Andy Roddick’s love bunny, Brooklyn Decker, for all in the office to see. I mean, if your grandma can catch glimpses of those exposed ta-ta-liciouses while picking up her Fixodent at the local Walgreens, then making this your computer’s wallpaper should be as harmless as that unopened O’Douls I keep in the back seat of my car to continually confuse cops.

“No, officer, actually…I haven’t been drinking.”

Sports Illustrated 2010 Swimsuit Covergirl [ABCNews]