Flogging the dolphin. Peeling the banana. Killing kittens. Shaking hands with the sheriff. Watching Handah Mondana. We all know the basic tenets of male (and female) life involve spending some alone time with your no-no place. And since music is all about real-life situations, it makes sense that there have been songs about the experience of syruping your fapjack during May, National Masturbation Month. Read the rest of this entry »

“It’s the Lupe Fiasco I want to be, without the industry constraints.”

Fresh from the stage at the Beale Street Music Festival in Memphis, the often over-analyzed Lupe Fiasco sat down with Fuse TV for a few minutes to discuss his upcoming and highly-anticipated album, Food & Liquor 2. Three or four years ago, that would’ve had his staunch supporters amped. Now, not so much. Read the rest of this entry »

If you threw out the age-old question “what are you doing this weekend?” to a colleague on your way out of work yesterday, a likely response was “probably going to check out Avengers.” Of course, some of us already beat you to the punch by catching the midnight showing on Thursday night while others made their way to watch on Friday. Read the rest of this entry »

Say what you want about Barry Obeezy. You can’t deny the fact that he’s a man of conviction. Want proof? Look no further than the fact that he gives no damns if Black people haven’t been fist bumping since 1992; he’ll still bump fists with people like it’s the newest, cool move on the block. Read the rest of this entry »

While a handful of teams still tied to the 2012 season, non-playoff teams are working towards the next year. Positioning themselves for the future, the Brooklyn Nets unveiled their new logo and colors at a news conference held on Monday. Read the rest of this entry »

When Derrick Rose went down on Saturday, hearts of basketball fans fell as well. Watching Rose lay motionless for what seemed like an eternity was agonizing and heartbreaking for the casual observer or hardcore hoops fanatic, the Bulls fans and foes. Given the unpredictable nature of how injuries affect athletes long term, the widespread aftershocks can’t always be determined but many will feel its reverberations. Read the rest of this entry »

There’s some executive at FOX News who probably sharted himself after hearing President Obama’s White House Correspondents’ Dinner admission to listening to Young Jeezy. And while they’ll paint it as a negative, this gives us here at TSS an opportunity to guess which Snowman songs from The Commander In Chief listens to while riding around and getting it. Read the rest of this entry »

Ridley Scott returns to the arena that made him famous with Prometheus, set in the same universe as the beloved Alien franchise. Early footage, including this three minute trailer, is extremely encouraging. The film looks to share a lot in common with its predecessor, a definitive name in both horror and science fiction. Read the rest of this entry »

A wise man once said: “The NBA Playoffs are a clusterf*ck of storylines.” This year’s first round is no exception. Even if Derrick Rose’s ACL captures the majority of the casual fan’s attention, the injury is only the tip of the iceberg. Since it’s hard to keep track of every little in-and-out of the league’s 16 playoff teams, so we did our best to recap some of the weekend’s events in a condensed fashion. Read the rest of this entry »

Begrudgingly, I was denied an El Clasico Champions League Final. Chelsea scores before halftime again and shuts the door with an injury time Torres hop-and-pop goal over Barcelona. Real Madrid surprisingly chokes in penalties and Bayern Munich gets to play the final at home. Who knew Munich and Chelsea would both make it to the final? I was expecting at least one Spanish club to make it through, but the drama filled week in the UCL ended as one of the greatest semi-final rounds of all time.

Before the Superbowl of Soccer is played, let’s analyze what just happened and what we can expect on May 19th.

Los Cinco Puntos – FC Barcelona Vs. Chelsea

1. The Injury to David Villa was more detrimental to Barca than we thought. Villa is a finisher. The depth Barcelona created coming into the season included him as a starter. Alexis Sanchez wasn’t bad, but remember Villa’s winning goal against Manchester United in last year’s UCL Final? That sort of pinpoint accuracy would’ve helped a lot against the Londoners.

2. Roberto Di Matteo deserves to become full time manager. Analogous to Mike Woodson turning around the New York Knicks after Mike D’Antoni, Chelsea’s interim manager set the ship in the right direction after the sacking of Andre Villas Boas. Drop the “caretaker” label and give this man a contract.

3. If Chelsea wins the Final and remains out of the top four in the English Premier League, fourth place doesn’t get to play in the UCL next season.Tottenham and Newcastle, be afraid. Very, very afraid.

4. Chelsea was the better team. They played with both starting center defenders out AND only ten men and Barcelona didn’t score after the 35th minute. But with John Terry, Ramires and Raul Miereles out of the Final, can they be the better squad?

5. Fernando Torres is Alex Rodriguez in 2009 right now. Just like A-Rod, this is the kid’s time to shine in the big game. Yes, he scored the winning goal in the semi-final, but if he doesn’t show up in Munich the title of “95 million pound bust” will remain.

Los Cinco Puntos – Real Madrid Vs. Bayern Munich

1. Manuel Neuer is a top goalkeeper. Going toe-to-toe with Madrid’s Iker Casillas puts him in good company. Neuer held goal with Shalke 04 to the semi-finals last year and now with Bayern Munich he’s worked wonders for the team and his career. Stopping Cristiano Ronaldo and Kaka in a shootout doesn’t hurt either.

2. Cristiano Ronaldo falls short again. Two goals by anyone is a tremendous contribution, but just like Lionel Messi clanking his penalty kick, every miss is judged by a higher standard. He’ll just have to settle for a La Liga title instead.

3. Bayern Munich has their own big three: Frank Ribery, Arjen Robben and Mario Gomez. They are simply the best cohesive attacking trio in the game. Of course the rest of the team is top-class, but their front three can battle with the best.

4. Sergio Ramos will again be the goat. Fans of sports bloopers will know him for dropping the Copa Del Rey trophy, but for the next year his horrendously off-target penalty kick will be the calling card of the guy who looks like Legolas from Lord of the Rings.

5. Jose Mourinho’s legacy isn’t tarnished. “The Special One” fell one game shy of a Champions league final with Real Madrid, but whatever team he lands with next year will welcome him with open arms. The world-class manager of two UCL winning sides will see European silverware once again.

Well, we sure made the most of the shortened season. The pros went from out of shape to scraping for playoff contention as soon as the second half of the year kicked off. Now the spring classic’s about to tip-off and we’re ready to get to the “real” season. Read the rest of this entry »

Blake Griffin hasn’t seen a poster opportunity he didn’t like. However, opposing big men aren’t taking too lightly to his self-aggrandizing aerial feats. Blake’s been getting rocked these days and he’s taken heat for absorbing everything from legit, hard fouls and straight up disrespectful swipes. Read the rest of this entry »

Jimmy Fallon was joined by a one of kind, special guest last night – the President of the U.S., Barack Obama. While filming on location at UNC, Fallon talks with the audience about the expected rise in student loans and decides to do his usual “Slow Jam The News” segment with the President Read the rest of this entry »

For over two decades, Mariah Carey has been knocking out hits and keeping her name relevant. Whether it’s with her sheer beauty or knack for hitting the high notes, this ageless superstar has seen music evolve more-so than most female vocalists in any genre. However, while many of her recent R&B counterparts have gained success from catering their tunes specifically to a Hip-Hop audience by collaborating with rappers, most of them wouldn’t even be around if weren’t for Mimi headlining that urban crossover style in the first place. Read the rest of this entry »

Has any NFL team has faced more off-season flack than the New Orleans Saints? The latest news revealed Monday by ESPN could ultimately prove to be the team’s lowest point, trumping the pay-for-hit scandal that already has the franchise in hot water. Read the rest of this entry »