On Blade Icewood And "Chips On The Pistons"
10.31 The Cooler

Fake Michelle Obama Letter To Kanye Is Everything You’d Want The Real Michelle To Say

By Word / 10.30.13

Uhh apparently, Kanye is all bent up outta shape because Kim Kardashian can’t get on the cover of Vogue if her life depended on it. What’s the big deal? Vogue is regarded as the “fashion bible” and Yeezus is one fashion-y mother*fucker, as is his secret lover turned fiancee. But who’s been on the cover? Michelle Obama. Twice. Which means Michelle is now the enemy.

During an interview with Keeping Up With The Kardashians executive producer Ryan Seacrest’s radio show on Tuesday, Kanye propped Kim up on the highest pedestal ever. “There’s no way Kim Kardashian shouldn’t be on the cover of Vogue. She’s like the most intriguing woman right now,” he said. And then came this morsel of goodness: “Michelle Obama cannot Instagram a pic like what my girl Instagram-ed the other day.” And that’s where he f*cked up.

Since his statement, Kanye’s been catching a lot of flack. And though the First Lady is too busy being Michelle g*ddamn Obama to entertain Kanye, the Internet came through and crafted a letter on her behalf. Nothing beats understated ether!

So you have to understand where I’m coming from when I say it’s laughable for my 21-year marriage to be mentioned on the same website as your thing with Kim.

Imagine if someone compared you to Papoose, Kanye. Well, you’re Barack’s Papoose. And yes, Kim is my Remy Ma.

My husband’s not moving our family out the country so you can’t see where we stay. Because he runs the country, you see.

And, again, we live in the White House. Very visible.

Look, Kanye, I’m a fan. You had me the second you brought along Uncle Charlie Wilson, and there’s no turning back. I don’t think you’re crazy at all, and in fact fully think you’re saying things that other people are scared to articulate. And, of course, Chicago will always bring us together.

Knowing that, never think that I’m not from Chicago for one second. Barack may be from Hawaii, but I will always be from that 312.

Read the full letter at Grantland.

Photo: Getty


TAGSEDUTAINMENTFEATUREDKanye WestKim KardashianMichelle ObamaSMOKE BREAK

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