Words By Preezy Da Kid
Storytelling stands as one of the pillars of the sport called rap. Originally mastered by Slick Rick, some of the most captivating songs in the history of genre have resulted from impeccable oratorical skills by the game's greats. And few have been better at entertaining around the proverbial campfire than Ghostface Killah.
Really, take a look at his catalog and see that there's never a dull moment in the life of Tony Starks. So we decided to compile 20 of Ghost Deini's greatest storytelling tracks. But please be advised to put the kids to bed for this one. These adventures are far from the kind Disney would endorse.
"Wildflower" off Ironman
"I'm mind shocking, body rocking, earth shaking, money making Sitting high, looking fly, drinking on the best wine" ~ Jamie Sommers"
The good folks at TSS would never condone domestic violence, but a good tongue lashing never killed anybody. So when the great Ghost Dieni finds out his Wisdom has been less than faithful and goes into a tirade, it is nothing short of entertaining. From admitting to f*cking her friend to damaging her ovaries, Ghost recounts all the low down dirty things he did to her (including almost pulling an Ike Turner, until the Gawd said "CHILL," of course) and how she was lost before she met him. You know, the kind of things scorned lovers usually say.
"Camay" off Ironman
Ghost, Rae, and Cappadonna each spin accounts of courting a grown and sexy hottie. A feisty man-eater plays hard to get with the chef, while Cappa has better fortunes, meeting an older, sophisticated lady. Ghostface, on the otherhand, goes all out with reservations to a 5-star restaurant, treating his date and law firm employee, Juanita "Cash" Hawkins, to a glass of Chevailer Chateau and some good conversation. After a few jokes and small talk, Ghost turns on his A-1 game, even contemplating leaving his wife before numbers are exchanged and their night ends.
Moral of the story: if she wears Camay and doesn't eat turkey bacon, she's a keeper.
"Saturday Night" off Supreme Clientele
"Saturday night, uptown, Riding past Kansas Fried Chicken, What's popping kid, we in the mix"
Uptown attempting to coax the owner of Dr. Jays to re-open the store so he can do a little last minute shopping, Ghost is suddenly confronted by a few of New York's Finest. Flashing him pictures of his crew, the police begin to mockingly question him before making him aware of their interest in him and his crews recent activities. After further harassment, the cops place him under arrest on a bullshit possession charge for having a blunt-clip in the car. Yup, Hip-Hop Police ain't nothing to fuck with.
"Malcolm" off Supreme Clientele
"I'm like Malcolm, out the window with the joint, Hoodied up, blood in my eyes, I let two fly like, fuck it..."
Out at Jonesies for a night of fun, Starks, Sammy, and the rest of his crew are posted up by the speakers, when they spot a potential robbery victim by the name of Flower. Fresh off a ten-year prison bid for robbing an armored truck, he has come home and apparently is back to his criminal ways. Sammy, a down and out hustler/stick-up kid (who previously got rushed by a crew of Hasidic Jews out Crown Heights in the first verse), approaches Flower with bad intentions, and all hell breaks loose, with the end result being a $68,000 payday and a homicide.
"Maxine" off Bulletproof Wallets
Meet Maxine and Pam, two notorious fiends in charge of a stash house supplied by Moonie, Stapleton's friendly neighborhood cocaine titan. Apparently, some funds and "supplies" have been misappropriated by the two and Moonie has decided to make a check-in for a little retribution. But the tables quickly turn and the lesson is learned: a crib full of Bebe's kids are a hustler's worst nightmare. Just a fair warning.
"The Forest" off Bulletproof Wallets
We don't know what kind of drugs Pretty Tone was on, but it must've been some good shit, because only someone out of his right mind could have cooked up a plot like this. Ghost magically ends up in a mythical forest, filled with a who's who of your all-time favorite cartoon characters. From Magilla Gorilla toting hammers to Pippy Longstocking and Barney getting it popping out in Pink Houses, this wonderland was definitely not rated PG. Oh yeah, and shouts to Scrooge McDuck because homie stays winning.
"The Hilton" off Bulletproof Wallets
While in a penthouse suite at The Hilton, Rae and Ghost find themselves in a sticky predicament. What appeared as room service turned out to be a murder attempt on the pair, but Rae came in to save the day in the nick of time, leaving them with a dead body on the top floor of a hotel. After flying out of town for business, it dawns on Rae that the fiasco at the Hilton stemmed from a previous drug deal gone bad and that the slighted dealer had ordered the hit from prison. Acting out on the revelation, he orders a hit on said drug dealer, with the job being completed before the morning roll call. What a way to enjoy your stay at the Hilton.
"It's Over" off The Pretty Toney Album
This ditty spins a cautionary tale of two stories: One where Ghost's spot gets knocked and one where Ghost gets caught cheating on his gun-toting wisdom in a Best Western. The moral behind this tune is simple: never think your sh*t is too sweet. Because your f*ckery can be exposed at any minute. Take it from Ghost, he knows firsthand.
"Run" off The Pretty Toney Album
If you're familiar with the laws of New York state, there's a good chance you may be aware of their harsh mandatory minimum sentences involving gun possession. This explains why Ghost would lead the NYPD on a frantic foot-chase throughout the projects, especially with previous felonies under his belt. Jadakiss decides to give his own account of evading the law, with talk of knocking out female officers and how Timbs can feel like the lightest Nikes in the tightest of situations. The most important lesson out of all of this is to be sure to invest in a proper belt when being "bout that life." It could end up being the difference between a close call and a great story to tell and five to ten years in the pen.
"Shakey Dog" off Fishscale
Ghost has found out the location of a wholesale coke spot Uptown ran by a hustler only known as Kevin, and has decided to run up in it and collect the goods, even if there's a little blood shed along the way. Accompanied by his 'shaky dog' partner, Frank, the two enter the building, headed to the last door on the third floor where the stash was kept, with the plan being for Ghost to act as if he were being robbed by Frank to gain entrance into the spot and keep his own name clear. An elderly Venezuelan femme fatale enters and all hell breaks loose, as Frank proceeds to handle his biz, but comes up a tad bit short of the grand prize in the end.
"Crack Spot Stories" From Wu-Block
In this episode, GFK gives us a firsthand account of an average day in a crack den. Wendell, a neighborhood fiend and their honorary cocaine taste tester, has taken too strong of a hit of the sample and passes out from the potency. Jason, the lieutenant of the spot, gets chastised for not being tight enough on security and is forbidden to take any shorts on a sale. After scoring over $1,000 dollars in electronics in exchange for three dimes, Ghost decides to call an end to his tour of the crack spot and heads to the Starks estates to get a little gaming in.
"Underwater" off Fishscale
Finding himself magically lost underwater, Ghost notices a door with a pink handle and curiosity gets the best of him and he proceeds to enter, unaware of the aquatic adventure ahead of him. Greeted by Mermaids with Halle Berry haircuts upon entering, they continue to lead him on a tour of the world down under, filled with rubies, diamonds and Gucci belts. Along the journey he runs into Spongebob Squarepants, who has to check his wife for eying Pretty Tone a little to much for his liking. The excursion ends with him in an underwater Mosque giving salat.
"Alex (Stolen Script)" off More Fish
"Hardy Boys shit..."
Light up a Winston and listen as Ghost spins this tale about Alex, a Greek immigrant orphaned at age five and responsible for close to ten homicides. After the murder of his hitman and close friend, he falls into depression, which eventually turns to anger after allegedly getting juxed for the script to the Oscar-winning flick, Ray, even securing the rights to the film in a gentleman's agreement with the piano playing legend himself.
At least that's the way the story's rumored to have happened. GFK makes it all sound plausible.
"Outta Town Shit" off More Fish
NYC drug dealers are notorious for setting up shop in Small Town, U.S.A., at the drop of a dime. Tony Starks and his crew are no different. From bloody visits to Pittsburgh to marathon cee-lo games gone awry in Minnesota, this track serves as a reminder that things can get pretty ugly, pretty quick on those out of town excursions. Protect your neck.
"Yolanda's House" off Big Doe Rehab
Another day in Stapleton Projects means another episode of Ghost versus the NYPD. After evading a drug sting and fleeing to a lady friend's house, the cops happen to come into the exact same building in search of the escapees of the bust.
In an attempt to hide, Ghost dips into another room, unaware of the fact that it's occupied by Method Man and a Staten Island freak of his own, ball out and all. Scolding Ghost for his poor house manners and possibly having led the police to the hideaway, Meth is interrupted by a call from Raekwon, who gives him the details of the current happenings on the street.
"Walk Alone" off Big Doe Rehab
After blowing off a dudes head and pistol whipping him in the bodega for slapping his lady, Ghost goes into a state of shock and PTSD, all while on the run from the cops and in a spat with his drug connects over payments. Eventually snapping and threatening to pull a Larry Davis on a cop, he insists he's mentally well enough to cope with the situation and doesn't plan on running any longer, instead deciding to hold court in the street whenever the time comes.
"White Linen Affair" off The Big Doe Rehab
In response to all the weak award shows the public's been subjected to, Pretty Tone and company decided to throw their own gala, "The White Linen Affair". With attendee's including nothing but the dopest personalities of the entertainment industry and backed by his band, the Rhythm Roots All-Stars, Ghost serves as the host for the night. Engaging the crowd with tales of fight with lions and hibernating with polar bears among other things, he then give his co-host and Theodore Unit crony Shawn Wiggz the floor, who scores the line of the night*.
Sadly, all good things must come to an end, so, GFK tells his handlers to get the car out front for him and Alicia Keys, destination: the Starks Estates. But not before overhearing Superhead bragging to Halle Berry about using her notorious persuasions on of all people..OJ Simpson. Word???
* -- The "I Gotta $100 bill tattooed on my dick, heard ay like to...blow money" joke is priceless, but is only for the most brave of men. Use at your own discretion.
"Shakey Dog" off The Big Doe Rehab
When a heist Uptown turned for the worst, with his partner, Frankie, getting whacked in the process, Pretty Tone had to shoot his way out the joint. But the saga was far from over. Raekwon has gotten word from a female acquaintance that Lolita, the slain kingpin's daughter, is in town with plans to avenge his death. But before the convo even ended, a shot rang out, fired by Lolita, accompanied by three other femme fatales. A shootout ensues, with the honor of Frankie and the Uptown drug lord hanging in the balance.
"Guest House" off Ghostdini: Wizard of Poetry in Emerald City
While enjoying a peaceful evening at the Starks Estate, GFK suddenly wonders what's taking his wife so long to get home. When he can't reach her via phone or friends, Ghost gets worried and goes to grab his gun from the guest house, preparing for the worst. But when he opens the door, he sees his wife getting pounded by another dude, who happens to be the same guy who installed the Verizon Fios in his crib. The three then get into a Mr Biggs/R. Kelly-style dialogue before things get ugly.
"The Watch" recorded for Bulletproof Wallet
So "The Watch" appropriately features Ghostface engaging in dialogue with, of all things, his watch. After his watch verbally taunts him with premature rumors of his demise, Ghost chastises the watch, stating he's an "older watch, couple rocks missing." The Watch then jabs him over being overshadowed on radio by the likes of X and Jigga, and Ghost begins to lose it and almost crushes The Watch before cooler heads prevail. Odd, we know.