As the lone Virginia resident of the Crew, the task fell squarely on yours truly to report the news. Chris Brown-Mandela is a free man, y’all!
For those not in the loop, David D.’s favorite entertainer spent the half of the weekend in some cold, dark, damp Chocolate City holding cell stemming from an alleged assault on a fan. The story goes 20-year-old Issac Parker attempted to pull a Chris Bosh and photobomb a future Instagram portrait with Young Breezy and a fan of the fairer sex around 4:30 in the morning outside The W in D.C. The Mechanical Dummy then supposedly became so enraged telling the fan he wasn’t down with such homosexual activities and that a boxing match would ensue.
The problem with all this? Nothing is open at 4:30 a.m. except legs, 7/11 and jail cells. All of which carry diseases if one is that desperate.
Anyway, #TeamBreezy card-carrying members worldwide held their collective breath as they awaited word from the court room of Chris’ fate. If he were convicted of a felony, Brown probably would’ve had to serve hard time in California as a probation violation from the 2009 incident we’ll refrain from speaking on. Fellow Virginia native Trey Songz (Petersburg, what up?!) showed up for support, even reportedly engaging in a shouting match with court marshalls for reasons I’m not even sure I want to know (new music?).
Turns out, however, Brown’s legal team dodged the proverbial bullet once more – likely led by the great Maurice Levy – as those felony charges miraculously dropped to a misdemeanor.
And with that (plus a drug test and staying 100 yards away from Parker), thus concludes yet another wild weekend of R&B’s Teflon Don.
Previously: Chris Brown Was Arrested For Assult This Morning