It's been far too long since a strip club-related post has covered the likes of this fine corner of the Internet. Well, unless the Nightcaps aren't counted.
Regardless, we're bringing back an oldie, but goodie because the American titty bar is a staple of what this great, but in so many ways misguided country is about. It's a place where boys go to be men, women go to tap into their inner-lesbian, old men go to be perverts, memories are made and bank accounts ravaged.
What we have here are 40 more songs that nestle themselves comfortably in the friendly confines of gentlemen's clubs nationwide - either in the past, currently or both. Before jumping into the list, read these four thoughts:
1. This is anything but a comprehensive list of the best strip club songs of all-time. You or I shouldn't be here to argue about songs meant for the greater good. That's hustling backwards. Leave suggestions in the comments. They'll be used if and when part three comes around.
2. A mix of old songs and more so new songs are included. I apologize to any OGs out there. My mom wouldn't let me attend strip clubs in 1992, so if I missed out on your Freaknik favorite, we've just got to come to some sort of middle ground.
3. If there's a large compilation of Southern records on this list, oh well. No region in Hip-Hop makes better strip club music than the South. That's a fact, not opinion. Don't bother arguing. This isn't to say other areas don't have their own nudie bar classics, they do. It's just the South has higher quality and quantity.
Capisce? Awesome, now let's jump into the festivities.
1. Ludacris Ft. Shawnna & Lil Fate - "P-Poppin'"
Excuse the edited version and footage. Before Nelly's "Tip Drill" supplanted itself as the greatest BET Uncut video ever, Luda's ode to that special move strippers perform could have perhaps been the GOAT from a mainstream artist.
2. Plies - "Fuckin' Or What"
Jadakiss' song of the same title is superior in every other setting outside of a strip club.
3. Juicy J Ft. Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz - "Bandz A Make Her Dance (Remix)"
No need to really explain this entry. It's already a classic.
4. Project Pat - "Oooh Nothin'"
May the words and teachings of Brother Project Pat live on for generations.
5. Ciara Ft. Future - "Body Party"
Kaz of The Stashed jokingly coined these two John Lennon and Yoko Ono. With that connection in mind, Ono grabbed Lennon for her comeback single that worked wonders and then some while providing strip clubs nationwide a record that will work perfectly at the end of the night for months to come.
6. T-Pain Ft. Twista, Pimp C, Paul Wall & MJG - "I'm In Love With A Stripper (Remix)"
Back when jean shorts were still in style, so was this song. T-Pain's catalog of hits is so underrated.
7. 2 Chainz Ft. Nicki Minaj - "Luv Dem Strippers"
8. Rihanna - "Pour It Up"
If "Bandz" made it, then Rihanna's whirl at the same Mike WiLL beat does too. The crazy thing is, Rih-Rih probably wrote this after leaving a strip club. She's no stranger to them.
9. Tyga Ft. 2 Chainz - "Do My Dance"
The way Robin Thicke composes love songs about Paula Patton, does Tyga do the same for Blac Chyna with songs like this?
10. K-Camp Ft. Kwony Cash - "Money Baby"
Certain songs are spun at Atlanta strip clubs that may never be heard at a great majority of other clubs across the country. Case in point.
11. Fat Joe Ft. Lil Wayne - "Make It Rain"
Then-Overweight Joseph didn't create the term "make it rain," but he definitely helped bring it mainstream with a hook from Weezy that's as infectious in 2013 as it was when the song dropped in 2006.
12. Future - "Gone To The Moon"
For the record, anything Future won't lead you astray. "Turn On The Lights" is "let out music." "Karate Chop" will blow the roof off the spot if played at the right time. But this? "Gone To The Moon" is vintage Atlanta strip club music. I say this because I experienced it live and in the flesh.
13. UGK - "Take It Off"
"She sleep in the day, but bounce her booty at night You kiss that thang in the mouth, but she been playing with my pipe..." Talk to 'em, Chad.
14. Nelly Ft. Diddy & Murphy Lee - "Shake Ya Tailfeather"
This was the greatest song in the world the summer before my senior year in high school. With iconic lines like "Is that ya ass or ya mama half reindeer?"
15. T.I. Ft. Lil Wayne - "Ball"
Color me surprised the Twerk Team hasn't used this song yet.
16. Lil Ru - "Nasty Song"
Color me surprised again. Lil Ru has his own Vevo page. Having heard this song in a South Carolina strip club in summer 2010, let's just say my life changed forever that night. For the better or worse, I'm still not sure.
17. French Montana Ft. Rick Ross, Drake & Lil Wayne - "Pop That"
Say what you will about French. Say what you will about Ross. Say what you will about Drake. Say what you will about Wayne. But those four combined for one of the best strip club/party anthems in recent memory with "Pop That."
18. Choppa Ft. Master P - "Choppa Style"
Miley Cryus was probably still learning her multiplication tables when this song dropped. Anywho, I still haven't truly lived yet because I can't say I've heard "Choppa Style" in a New Orleans strip club.
19. Wale Ft. Juicy J & Nicki Minaj - "Clappers"
Wale gave the DMV a titty bar anthem to call their very own with this one.
20. Ginuwine - "Pony"
I didn't notice it at first, but in the early parts of the video, Ginuwine is dancing for a diverse crowd in provocative fashion. And by diverse, I mean both men and women. And don't get me wrong, that's perfectly fine and all if that's your thing. It's just not what one would come to expect from a song covering this particular subject matter. Nevertheless, the song is a stone cold classic in every sense of the word and still emerges from time to time on a DJ's playlist when the time comes to slow things down for a moment.
21. Lil Wayne Ft. Trina - "Wowzers"
This would be the theme song for Brazzers if Brazzers had a theme song. Don't act like you don't know what Brazzers is either.
22. Lil Boosie Ft. Foxx & Webbie - "Wipe Me Down (Remix)"
"SHOULDERS. CHEST. PANTS. SHOES."
To speak ill of this song is to be raised by heathens. With Boosie's freedom possibly closer than previously expected, here's to Bad Azz laying forth on the world more songs of this ilk in 2014.
23. Cash Money Millionaires - "Project Chick"
To this day, I've convinced myself Baby's verse was the inspiration behind Jay Z's "Girls, Girls, Girls."
24. Drake Ft. 2 Chainz & Big Sean - "All Me"
Why, oh why, did Drake cut his second verse off on the album version?! That cost him a fifth of a cig when the review drops. However, with a slow, menacing beat and three verses drenched in bravado and arrogance from three headlining names, strip club DJ's probably couldn't wait to get to work to play this.
Bonus: "Versace" works, too. But, trust and believe, "305 To My City" will be a totally different beast in its own right.
25. Jay Z Ft. Rick Ross - "FuckWithMeYouKnowIGotIt"
My only hope is that whenever this drops at any strip club in America they still play the Pimp C sample.
26. Gucci Mane - "Photo Shoot"
Long before Gucci entered "Marvin's Trap" and spilled his emotions over a legendary series of 140-character memoirs, he put out undeniable numbers like this one.
27. Shawty Lo Ft. Ludacris, Jeezy, Plies & Lil Wayne - "Dey Know (Remix)"
His reality show never got off the ground (whew). But the year 2007 and the album Units In The City can never be taken away from Shawty L-O. Quote me on this, too. The "Dey Know (Remix)" is one of the best remixes of the past 10 years. Yes, yes it is.
28. T.I. Ft. Nelly - "Get Loose"
All those damn strip clubs in Atlanta in 2004-2005 and this never got a video? Incredible.
29. French Montana - "Bust It Open"
French may not be the second coming of Nasir Jones, but one thing he can do is pen a record for the clubs where all the ladies dance naked.
30. Tela Ft. 8Ball & MJG - "Sho Nuff"
Bless the OGs who made me aware of this bonafide classic. 8Ball bodied this something serious.
31. Juvenile Ft. Soulja Slim - "Slow Motion"
A strip club staple that still garners a huge reaction. And it probably could've been even bigger had Slim never died.
32. Twista - "Get It Wet"
This hook though? Uh huh.
33. Meek Mill - "Dreams & Nightmares"
Specifically the "Nightmares" portion, Meek's intro was tailor-made for the strip joint despite its aggressive tone.
34. Rich Homie Quan - "Type Of Way"
The hook you sing at the top of your lungs is even more fun to sing at the top of your lungs when there are naked women around dancing.
35. 2 Chainz Ft. Kanye West - "Birthday Song"
Imagine if Chainz and 'Ye debuted this song in Magic City and Kanye got to talk beforehand. Like this.
36. Ying Yang Twins Ft. Lil Jon - "Salt Shaker"
The fact of the matter is this. Ying Yang may not be household names in 2013, but they've got more than a handful of songs that defined the early and mid 2000s both in and outside the booty club.
Lil Jon's part on "Salt Shaker"? Absolutely glorious.
37. YG Ft. Rich Homie Quan & Jeezy - "My Nigga"
"Man, last time I was up in there, it was all Future everything, 'Hannah Montana' and YG 'My Nigga.'" - A potna of mine from The A
38. Drake - "Practice"
You have to get a private dance to this one.
39. Trillville - "Some Cut"
Because Trillville will never be forgotten. We all sang this hook in unison with others at some point in our lives. It was a rite of passage.
40. August Alsina Ft. Trinidad Jame$ - "I Luv This Shit"
For the folks who get way too high and/or way too drunk and blow an entire paycheck on Sommer. You know Sommer. We all know Soomer.