It’s the topic everyone is talking about. With the Mega Millions jackpot reaching the historic level of $540M, someone in this country will instantly become a half billionaire off simply picking numbers out of the sky. God bless, America, right? Before anyone even asks, you damn right I’m buying a ticket. Hell, I’m buying multiple ones. And pending the lucky ticket ends in my hands, here’s my to-do list (after all the serious, grown up and responsible chores are completed, of course).
1. Wait for people to give me free stuff because that’s what happens when you make a lot of money. I’m looking at you, Nike.
2. Free Boosie.
3. Open a sports bar and never worry about a piss test ever again.
4. Become part owner of the Dallas Cowboys and convince David Stern to let me sit courtside at any NBA game of my choice.
5. Buy a black 2013 BMW 750i with all black rims, pull up on Pilar and see what happens. And if a BMW 750 doesn’t work, it just wasn’t meant to be with us. I’d have enough money left over to drown my sorrows.
There were more, but in the slim chance I don’t win, I still need to work. Who knows, my boss or my next boss may be reading this. Anywho, enough about me. Your move, Internet.