Unless you happen to be in a committed relationship and neither partner strays from the other, every time you have sex, the chance of waking up the next morning and taking a piss of razorblades is at least 50%. And if you’re one of those people who practice the all natural method – raw doggin’ – then that ups the ante to somewhere above 60%. Now, as if AIDS, herpes and more weren’t enough, there’s a budding super strand of gonorrhea resistant to antibiotics.

While the new form of the disease has yet to reach the United States, health officials are worried because of the what the future may hold, or in this case, may not hold. Gonorrhea is one of the more common STD’s, the McDonald’s of its kind for comparative purposes, and has grown immune to several antibiotics since the 1940′s, including the most recent in 2007. Robert D. Kirkcaldy, medical epidemiologist in the Center of Disease Control’s division of sexually transmitted disease prevention, relayed this apocalyptic-type message, “What we’ve been noticing is really since 2009 and 2010, it’s taking higher concentrations of antibiotic to kill the bacteria. This could mean resistance to the last antibiotic we have for gonorrhea could be on the horizon.’’

There’s more to the story than what’s posted here, but for all you nasty mongrels who thought gonorrhea was nothing a cream and fresh air couldn’t cure, you’ve been warned. In the meantime, pick up some Trojans from your local Walmart. Pending you’re experienced in that department, it takes no more than three seconds to put on. Three seconds of delayed pleasure is a lot better than a life time of molten lava piss.

Gonorrhea Becoming More Resistant To Antibiotics [NYTimes.com]