The crack team at Serious Eats conducted a grape soda taste test involving nine different variations of carbonated beverages ranging from craft sodas to hood staples.

“Anyone who drinks a lot of grape soda knows by now that most of the stuff tastes about as much like actual grapes as Coors Light tastes like actual beer.

The combination of artificial grape flavoring and sodium benzoate is such a common base for grape sodas—and has been for years—that most manufacturers don’t bother deviating from the popular, time-tested tradition. Some brands are undertaking the daring task of pushing their elixirs closer to its namesake fruit, but the majority of grape sodas don’t stray too far from the melted, carbonated popsicle mark.”

Interesting aside to note here. I lived off grape soda when I first entered sobriety. Being used to always having a cold can in my hand, I spent many a day guzzling grape cold drinks by the cases much like I would do beers. Actually, I think I started off walking around carrying and sipping from two liter bottles but they aren’t exactly built for traveling. I’m definitely not a connoisseur but definitely consider myself a heavy consumer, one they could’ve easily called in as a judge since my body’s already geared to handle ungodly amounts of caffeine.

The reviewers ranked each soda based on three criteria: carbonation, sweetness and overall grape flavor. Having not tried all of the drinks listed, it’s hard to imagine Faygo coming in fourth because it should win off sweetness alone. The shit can cause diabetic shock and Slurpee headrushs with the amounts of sugar loaded into each can. Furthermore, I have to question the validity of the testing since either Fanta or Welch’s could have been included as the tenth participant.

Go to Serious Eats to read up on which drinks won and lost.

S/O: Omar