Fred Falke's Mental Relaxation
2.4 The Cooler

Project Pat, The Wedding Singer

By Gotty™ / 02.03.11

Project Pattaaaaaaa. North Memphis representer. Rapper. Felon. And now, wedding singer.

Only in America can a brother raise up off the couch, dust weed crumbs off his lap, slang off the doo-rag, put on a clean navy tee and go make a few stacks for rapping. And only in this great land of ours would Molly allow her beloved Bernie such a request. Not only that, she will chime in at the :41 point and sing the chorus to the old freakhoes spiritual, “Ooh Nuthin’.” Pay no mind to the dancing bear crossing the screen at the :30 mark; he didn’t cost the wedding party any extra since he came for the free food.

Only in America will the men throw arms in the air and yelp “North, North!” in unison with the paid performer. In this great country of mine, I could pay a man to be the human jukebox and lean in at 1:00, requesting the song I’d like to see him perform live and choose “Chickenhead” without my newly bride taking the least bit of offense. I will then invite my younger siblings up and have them get crunk alongside me on my wedding day.

The robust gentleman who comes floating in at the 2:35 juncture, no one knows where he came from or what he was doing previously. Probably in the bathroom doing disgusting acts and emerging without washing his hands. Still, he can party too because this is America. And please don’t leave out the high-fiving couple @ 1:36. Let the record show those two people had consensual sex after the nuptial ceremony.

Only in America, only in Hip-Hop.

H/T: NT


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