I would like to extend my most sincere congratulations to T.I. for joining a highly sacred cult whose members include only the most elite of rappers. Jay-Z. B.o.B. Lil’ Wayne. 50 Cent. Drake. The Game. There are more, but they requested anonymity so I’ll leave them off the record, and if you haven’t guessed by now, these are some of the greatest rappers that Eminem has absolutely incinerated on their own shit. So again, after listening to this song, we’re tacking Tip’s picture up on the wall with the rest of these dudes.

Think of this song as the Paquiao-Margarito fight from last Saturday. Out the door, T.I. started throwing jabs here and there, and Em responds instantly with a series of punches that leaves Cliff reeling. But being that good ol’ tough-as-nails 99 pound fighter that he is, Tip comes back furious, with everything he’s got, while Marshall bides his time, waiting for him to slip. And as soon as he sees T.I. drop his hands, Eminem goes in for the kill with haymaker after haymaker, delivering every blow strong enough to shatter Cliff’s skinny, lil’ ecstasy-popping mug. It should have ended halfway through to save some of T.I.’s pride, but for some reason they let the fight finish, and by the time the final bell sounds, T.I. is left laying on the ground in splinters.

So as a warning to the next guy, if you want Marshall Mathers to drop a guest verse on your next song, best be sure you can keep up and hold your own, lest you be the next guy to join Tip and the rest of the fallen, pinned shamefully on the wall.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Listen — T.I. Feat. Eminem – That’s All She Wrote”

Bonus: Jazmine Sullivan picks on someone here own size but it didn’t make the album.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Listen — T.I. Feat Jazmine Sullivan – “Dying In Your Arms”