Yeah, Week Five saw more upsets than a March Madness Friday, but don’t look for any Cinderella stories coming out of this week’s surprises. These upsets stemmed from an epidemic of sloppy play affecting supposed contenders like San Diego, Cincinnati, Green Bay and New Orleans. Common symptoms of this disease include horrible special teams play, coaching gaffes, dumb penalties and costly turnovers. This plague of mediocrity has hit every team, leaving no undefeated teams this early for the first time since 1970. The wide open nature of this year is exciting, but let’s hope the quality of play improves because I’m sick of this sh*t.
The week’s marquee game pitted the last undefeated team – the surprise Chiefs – against the reigning AFC champs Indianapolis. Vegas thought little of their chances, making the Colts an 8.5 favorite and evidently coach Todd Haley did too as he started the game off with a surprise onside kick that failed miserably. KC put up a good fight, but Jamaal Charles got laid out, Matt Cassel continued to be unimpressive and the Colts benefited from their usual pass interference calls.
Nevertheless, KC should still challenge for the division in a weak AFC West, particularly if San Diego fails to win a road game. The talented Chargers lost to the Raiders for the first time since Gotty™ was in high school, despite Phillip Rivers putting up a ho hum 430 yards in the air. Multiple punt blocks will do that to you as the Raiders converted one for a safety and one for a touchdown.
The best game of the week, though, was a wild back and forth affair between the Titans and Cowboys. Chris Johnson tore up the Boys on their home turf and Vince Young helped out with a few bombs downfield. But the Cowboys helped plenty. Romo played a classic game of giveth and taketh away throwing for 400 yards but three INTs and an excessive celebration penalty late in the game set-up a huge kickoff return for Marc Miriani. A Johnson TD plunge later, and the Titans were victors. Wade Phillips should be brushing up on that resume.
– Ray Rice calmed fantasy owners everywhere by breaking out against the Broncos, leading the Ravens to a convincing 31-17 win. With wins over the Steelers and Jets, Baltimore has to be considered the early AFC favorite going into Foxboro next week.
– The Bears got 32 yards and 4 picks from starting QB Todd Collins…and still won by 17 points. Credit Matt Forte and the defense some, but Carolina is redefining suckitude right now.- The problems of the Saints start with their offense, as they’ve become too one-dimensional with Pierre Thomas and Reggie Bush.
– The Giants unmasked Houston as the porous Texans pass D turned Hakeem Nicks into Michael Irvin.
– The Redskins consolidated a big win in Philadelphia by coming back against the Packers to win in overtime.
– Break out the bubbly for the Lions as they notched their first W by routing the Rams 44-6. I genuinely wish they would have saved a few of those points for upcoming games though.