5. NBA Players Are P*ssies — This LeBron business has truly changed basketball into a league of girlified tampon-users. There’s a new trend where star athletes don’t want to win or lose by themselves. Instead, they want to join other underachievers to form one big mediocre team that spoons with each other after each loss. NBA teams are kind of becoming the Planeteers in that way. In my day, Barkley, Malone, Ewing and Jordan all either won or loss on their own. And when they lost, did they cry about it? Nope. They stood tall and tried their hardest.
Our kids won’t be able to watch big-time one-on-one duels between LeBron and Wade. Instead they’ll have to watch the two mutually masturbate to one another’s highlights. Instead, I’ll teach my son to live like Malone and be loyal to his team for 20 years or so before jumping ship. And if raising my son to be like Malone means I won’t ever know my illegitimate bastard grandchildren, then that’s just the price I’ll pay for greatness.
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And if raising my son to be like Malone means I won’t ever know my illegitimate bastard grandchildren, then that’s just the price I’ll pay for greatness.
*DEAD*
Good article. I agree that sports are turning into WWF now, about the money and not the fans.
only two points to make
1- tiger ended well last tournament and said that he felt he got over a hump by coming back from a bad opening shot on saturday and shooting a 67 on sunday… so we will see
2- its because of our generation that basketball players are like this. even though lebron and kobe are clearly just as talented (in my opinion more so) than Jordan… our argument to them is always “win a championship” (lamest argument in sports history. championships are won by teams, front office, and coaching, not individuals). so what did lebron do… he went somewhere that made it easier for him to win one. Now, even if he does win 4 in a row, we are going to be the douche-bags standing there saying “you didnt do it the right way”. athletes today cant win because jordan wasnt thrust into the limelight like they are, he helped to create that limelight.
just my thoughts.
page 1 = True
but page 2 = Error 404 – Nothing Found
that’s all fine and well except for the baseball sh*t. assholes like A rod, big mac and the like ruined the game. A Rod the youngest to reach that magic number? wonder why. f*ck all that. Roger Maris who? Fuck Barry Bonds. Cliff Lee is a superhero. roids can suck my dick.
the other thing to think about is that the nfl regular season had already been expanded from 14 to 16 for the same reasons and had the same arguments against it…. same with the ncaa tourney. either way… i think they are fine the way they are and anything more is just diluting it. i say “No more creatin, no more baking soda, keep things pure”
im good
I’ll be that db
2-5 not functioning…
yeah, all was all set with a great ‘roids joke and everything, but you ruined it for me on #4:
thanks, Dave.
True, but very sad.
universe back in balance…thank you, internet.
Good write up…
It ain’t broke, so they’re definitely trying harder to….
The NFL is fuc’n up.
and the circle jerk that was once the Miami Heat is kind of “estrogeneric”…
Tha’s like being good at Madden and always wanting to play your 4 year old brother in amateur mode.
#4 I would rather have less homeruns than watch cheaters like bonds, sosa, and mcguire
Everytime a new list gets posted, I think, “ok…now we’ve finally run out list ideas. there are officially no more.”
Yet…you cannot hold DD down. Nice list. Eye-opening, to say the least.
great write up.
“And if raising my son to be like Malone means I won’t ever know my illegitimate bastard grandchildren, then that’s just the price I’ll pay for greatness.”
—this line pretty much kills anything i’ve read for days
i have a song for all you Cleveland fans who are mad at LeBron. It’s by Beyonce…
“Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
Don’t be mad once you see that *he*(miami) want it
If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it”
that is all.
how in the world would the city of Cleveland put a ring on LeBron? Shouldn’t he have put a ring on himself?
Does. Not. Compute.
*does robot*
Big Market Teams always win and always will…The Yanks will buy another World Series this year and when the Heat(or should i say “Cheat”) start winning a bunch of rings nobody will be surprised and nobody will be all that excited to watch the championship games after they win their first one…A perfect symbol of America…Maybe we should all just only watch soccer.
If there’s truth to #5, then how is it the LeBron business changed everything? Wasn’t Kobe a cunt hair away from getting traded when he whined prior to the Gasol kidnapping? Shit, you could even throw in more recent examples of ‘Melo and CP3. Or even your example of Barkley; a guy who beasted in Philly then demanded a trade out when the talent wasn’t there.
Also, Ewing and Malone were never clutch guys, and routinely folded when it came to crunch time. LeBron, at the very least, was the unquestioned leader of the Cavs and shouldered the load for that team. Can we really say the same for either of those guys? To the same degree as LeBron? I don’t think that’s a fair comparison.
@david
first of all they could have demanded the GM put some nba players around lebron and not that youth basketball team they fielded.
two, they are haters. so i thought its funny. they mad cuz he left to win.
not liking the separate pages deal.
I swear I’ve been saying the same thing about baseball for years now. Things were a whole lot more interesting when guys were hitting 800 feet foul balls. And not this “oh, so-and-so is taking a no-hitter into the 8th inning” every other night now.
I’m all for the Justice League trio down in Miami though lol.
The best thing from this whole Miami scenario is that i have found “im taking my talents to south beach” is now my new favorite way to announce ima go drop a duece… replacing “the duece is loose” from when duece mcallister used to be good.
^*dead*
I like it better as a metaphor for Jackin off.
“I had yo girl takin her talents to South Beach last nite…”
ya’ll some fools
@lexxi
wow, that is too classy, i like it. i honestly hadnt thought of that. thats what i get for having a kid… cant focus on the important things.
Nice post. I’m not going to say what I do and don’t agree with, in regards to NBA players joining other teams.(I think you all couldn’t care less about my opinion, so I’ll save you the hassle.) But I must say, without any need to compile a survey, that this new era of sports is trying to reach some new certain level of “equivalent dominance” (yeah.. that’s about right) and it’s…it’s Absurd!!!! The only change that should happen is a College football tournament. THAT’S IT!(Boise St. should’ve had a chance for the title game for like 2 years straight..and you know that. That’s right I’m talking to you AP, Coach’s Poll, and BCS members alike) We all know the reason for these expansions…It’s the money. More regular season games for NFL, possible MM team expansion expands t.v time, and Bowl games ensure nearly every .500 college gets cash and a trophy BULLSHIT! It’s quite obvious the capitalistic nature of our society has meandered it’s way into our beloved past-times. This is what the kids are going to have to endure. I feel so ashamed that the sports that I once love, are now tainted with greed. Just money hungry executives who demean legendary entertainment just for the sake of their wallets. You make me sick. *spits*… The time has come my friends. The innocence is no more…All the more reason to cherish your memories of those unforgettable sports moments. Hold them close to your heart…and never let go…..because they maybe the only ones you’ll ever have.
You forgot about boxing. 1,000,000 weight divisions and sanctioning bodies, people fighting for PPV buys and big paydays instead of belts, promotion companies *cough goldenboypromotions* only making matches between their own fighters and the biggest name fighters *cough floyd* ducking any real comptition….
I was on board until #5, but I’m a Heat fan so that may factor in. Also, Barkley, Malone, Ewing, and Jordan did nothing on their own in a sport where there are ten players on the court at all times.
how is it a new trend if it has only happened once? until we see melo go join amare and CP3 comes along too, you can’t say it is a trend.
i’m sick of people saying the nba has changed because ONE group of players decided to play together. this was extreme circumstances that is unlikely to happen again. sure, you can say lebron is a pussy, but you can’t extend it to all nba players. i do not believe there is a trend developing at all.
ya’ll should sit back and enjoy the miami heat this year. this is something that is NEW and as I said before…is unlikely to occur again. This is the great thing about sports, things happen you never see coming.
but the other stuff about NFL expanding to an extra game and also march madness expanding is on point. pretty much, money is the reason sports will suck for our kids…
i’m sick of people saying the nba has changed because ONE group of players decided to play together.
===========
Ever heard of the Celtics Big Three?
We’ll see how this Heat trio turns out…
Hold up I gotta put a pause on the NFL one.
The NFL is gonna reduce the preseason games to two instead of four and change those to regular season.
For the season ticket holders this means they have to pay for one less game that doesn’t count. Right now they have to pay full price for two games that don’t mean shit.
It kinda seams like this one was done for the fans instead of the cash here.
for soccer fans about the bob bradley signing…
[pandasneedablog.blogspot.com]
hey… its related… ok, last time.
There’s still skateboarding, I wouldn’t call it a sport exactly but they are athletes and they do cool drugs and aren’t pussys. Same with mma I bet they do real drugs too. Pro team sports are gay. There run by commities of white people. I’m a white person. I would know. Baseball is allright but those guys are pussys and not always athletes
“Instead, they want to join other underachievers to form one big mediocre team that spoons with each other after each loss.”
———————
Too funny and unfortunately true. Sometimes I wish the world didn’t always revolve around money.
^^My last comment was directed towards the extension of the NFL season and the expansion of march madness aka the greatest sporting event know to man
Times are always changing…never know how the future will play out.
I wish the NFL would smarten up and remove all padding (including helmets) from a player’s attire. The players would receive SIGNIFICANTLY less damage to their brains & bodies if they had the similar attire to rugby.
Also, #4 is ridiculous irresponsibly & plain ignorant. Whether it was said in jest is something that would be nice to clear up. Players like Hank Aaron, Ken Griffey Jr., Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle (when he was healthy — had he stayed injury free he probably could have been the GOAT in Baseball), Lou Gehrig, Jimmie Foxx, Mel Ott, Ted Williams, Stan Musial, Eddie Matthews, Willie Mays, Ernie Banks, Harmon Killebrew, Frank Robinson, Willie McCovey, Reggie Jackson, Mike Schmidt all managed to hit a butt-load of HRs without juicing. If the players of today can’t it just shows poor character & poor skill really (don’t tell me how pitchers didn’t pitch fast as pitchers of today – it’s all relative).
Contrary to certain new reports, the state of Ohio does hate LeBron James. Anything short of vitriol and beer tossing in Cleveland on December 2 will be met with great disappointment.
yo TSS, are you gonna switch to the lame clicks/traffic generating multiple pages layout?! Would have thought better of you guys…
yo TSS, are you gonna switch to the lame clicks/traffic generating multiple pages layout?! Would have thought better of you guys…
================
Why’s that, because we aspire to grow and change? If so, I guess your initial thoughts were wrong.
I wish we lived in a time that athletes performed based on passion and not greed as well but the fact is the article is about 10-15 years to late.
The NFL season has been extended before and has DB regualtions that make it almost impossible to defend, NHL threw away the 2 line pass and regualated goalies to a point that is laughable, NBA has become a soap opera of thug life, and baseball has been tarnished for 20 years now because of roids and “juiced balls”.
We have no more faith left in our heroes.
Aren’t #1 and #4 basically contradictions? You don’t want a longer NFL schedule because it will mean inferior players breaking records. That’s exactly what steroids did to baseball.
I have one idea for ensuring your children enjoy sports, but it’s kinda weird. Why not let your kid PLAY a sport instead of just making him watch a bunch of other people play?
I was watching ESPN the other night and a DB from the Jets wanted 16 million on his contract and they were offering 12. As if 12 million isn’t enough. I mean come one.
Celtics and Heat were different. Ainge brought those players in…def not an example for your “players being pussies and colluding to end up together” argument
And if raising my son to be like Malone means I won’t ever know my illegitimate bastard grandchildren, then that’s just the price I’ll pay for greatness.
^^^
Awesome, lol..
First of all, #2 isn’t even true. The NCAA tournament was expanded to 68, not 96. Second, the NFL already lengthened the schedule from 14 to 16, so all records prior to that were already compromised. Third, it’s pretty ridiculous to complain about NFL records getting broken with more frequency and then lament the lack of new home run records every year because players aren’t allowed to use steroids.
FAIL
This article was hilarious! Especially the Karl Malone joke at the end!
Pass on this post; all the clicking for ONE paragraph, and the arguments. Contradictory and whiny.
The object of a game is to win. Athletes want to win. Who wants to be “one of the greatest players” with no ring? Barkley, Ewing, Dominique, Reggie, etc. etc.? Don’t be “mad” at Bron for not wanting to join that elite group of greats with no ring. and don’t be pissy at Miami for becoming the Boston of the South. Big 3 v. 2.0
Ya Lebron must be bipolar or sumthin ,or he really is that stuck up brat type. Bosh is corny ass hell Wade is all about himself i hope the worst things for the heat miami didnt even deserve them lol they dont even go to Heat games so Bron and Bosh go there? FUCKIN FAGS.ITS CELTICS OR kNICKS OR LICK A DICK FUCK MIAMI
U call urself a writer and u don’t even write down facts…. let’s start with basketball jordan didn’t win alone… I was born and raised in the chi and everyone knows he had pippen for most of his career who I beleieve is being inducted into the hall of fame and oh was rated one of the 50 greates of all time … I believe barkley left the sixers and went to the suns?.. drexler left portland went to houston with hakeem and won a title yeah or in ur 24 yrs r u too young to remember that.. magic had worthy and kareem hmmm doesn’t look like he did it by himself either. Let’s move on to baseball who cares bout homeruns if ur jucin… yeah its a shame when we think the sport will suck if people aren’t cheatin…. only thing that tells r kids to do is go and juice to oh by the way causes damage that can’t be fixed and sometimes death some one should smack u for writing this drivel…
do you know that MJ can make you wanna to fly?