It’s finally happening. At the ripe age of 24, I’m becoming a grumpy old man. It started years ago, I guess, but really came to fruition this summer as I screamed to my television like I just caught it cheating on me with the mailman:
You’re going to join three other superstars? In my day, Jordan, Barkley, Magic and Bird would never have wanted to group up. That’s when athletes were athletes. This generation doesn’t know anything about the ’80s!
Granted, being alive in the Jordan era has forever cemented people around my age as the “Ho-Hum” generation, thoroughly unimpressed with pretty much anything else that happens in sports. But look around. It’s getting worse. Rule changes and drastic shifts in the sports we love have pretty much guaranteed that our kids will have a much worse fan experience than we’ve had. Here are five reasons.
1. NFL Records Will Become Obsolete — The NFL is perfect. It’s America’s new pastime with the Super Bowl reaching over 17 katrillion homes each year. So naturally, living by the greedy man’s creed, “If It Ain’t Broke, You’re Not Trying Hard Enough,” the powers that be in the NFL are considering moving the season to 18 games. This means that every single-season passing record is going to be broken by 2016. Who’s Dan Marino? He’s won’t even be in the top 10 in passing in a couple of years. So we’ll have record books full of Tebows and his ilk of mediocre passers instead of the titans we grew up with in our day.