While the exact jurisdisction hasn’t been established yet, just know Lady Gaga is the Queen of something. At this point, she’s above just releasing a quick flipcam video with concert footage spliced in between clips of her eating Doritos. It has to be big. (Her words, definitely not mine.)

Just like the “Telephone” peculica, “Alejandro” is a risqué patchwork of softcore erotica and illuminations of contemporary art. Steven Klein directed the mini-movie in the same vein as his most notable work with Madonna. Which would probably explain the abundance of scantily clad males.

Come to think of it, nine minutes is a very long time. Good luck finishing this one, fellas.