Here at TSS, we get a lot of music submissions. We go over them all with a fine-toothed comb. As is customary in this line of work, a lot of the things we get are mediocre to bad. Generally, we pass over these songs to give shine to the material one or a few of us genuinely enjoys. We don’t go around bashing submissions. That’s not our style.
If these songs would have come to us from any other artist, I would have listened, said “wow, that’s really bad,” and keep moving. However, these tracks aren’t from any artist. These songs are from someone who has just been signed to a (reported) million-dollar contract. I touched on this before, but L.A. Reid signing Shyne is a slap in the face to Hip-Hop for a few reasons:
1. Shyne is terrible.
2. Rockwell Knuckles, Donny Goines, The Kid Daytona and Playboy Tre are all unsigned despite actually putting out material and being, you know, good.
3. Shyne was signed seemingly for the fact that he’s been in jail for the last eight years, which is problematic in its own right. It’s not like you’ll see L.A. Reid or anyone else champing at the bit to sign some kid fresh off of a four-year bid at an accredited university or anything like that.
4. $1 Million?! Somebody tell L.A. that it’s not 1998 anymore and labels are trying to be frugal with their money.
5. Did I mention that Shyne is not that good of a rapper, at least not in his post-prison form?
Bonus Reason: Didn’t Def Jam also ruin a seemingly easy lay-up called Wu-Massacre not too long ago by stupidly trying to rush Meth, Rae and Ghost into a project? This is the same project that only had the three members of the group actually show up on a couple of tracks together? Right. L.A. Reid might have finally lost it.
Po’s newest efforts show him spitting over Rihanna’s “Rude Boy,” Alicia’s “Unthinkable” and Drake’s “Over” as part of what we shall now call “Shyne Poops On The Hits.”
To paraphrase Aziz Ansari, these songs aren’t my cup of tea.
That’s because I don’t like thin slices of monkey dong in my tea.
I wasn’t even a big fan of Shyne before he went to the clink, but this is just atrocious as he’s come out sounding like Napolean Dynamite and Eli Porter’s love child.
Besides dropping audible Down Syndrome, Shyne also calls himself the next thing since BIG died and disses 50 Cent. Hey, 1999 called and said it wants its subject matter back.
When L.A. bought Shyne, he also bought my unending attention every time a new Shyne track drops. I will not dismiss his brand of at-best mediocrity. In fact, I will be there at every turn finding new ways to explain to our readers just how much his new “music” will make you question why God created sound. Be prepared. This may be a grueling process for all parties involved.
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Download – Shyne – “Rude Boy” Freestyle
You can stop now if you want
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Download – Shyne – Unthinkable Remix
Wow, you must really hate yourself
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Download – Shyne – “Over” Freestyle
Don’t kill yourself. You have so much to live for. I apologize for what you just witnessed.
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