This post wasn’t made to condone Tiger’s “transgressions” in the slightest. Lord knows everybody hates a cheater whether it be a relationship or a dice game. But with the mounds of negativity our beloved billionaire golf-baller is receiving, I can’t help but to weigh in to the other side of the story and perceive that Tiger married a straight-up snooze bucket.
Tiger wasn’t primed and molded to be the model athlete icon. It’s in his nature. Quiet, well spoken–in other words, never exercising his right to Blackness. His curses when he lands in a bunker make John Kerry say “Damn, that’s proper.” And the way he handled this situation was that of a straight-up novice. C’mon son. You leave your name on the voicemail? Why not just tell her (and your wife) they were a new publicist at AT&T or something. Get an alibi Eldrick. Those raggedy Annies sold you out for 7 ½ minutes of fame. (They had to split ‘em too. Those ain’t rollover minutes.)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Download — Tiger Woods Cheating Voicemail
Oh, but had he tuned in to a stand-up comedy performance by a Chris Rock or any other popular comedian he couldn’t relate to, he’d be aware of the age old rumor that once he put a ring on it, the chastity belt would be fastened all the same. All of a sudden, the Tiger was restless. You saw the slores he creeped with. Long lost fraternal twins and/or stunt doubles of his wife. All he ever wanted was you Elin. You probably tuned him out when he came to you enthused about the new suspension on that GMC or how Nike was naming planets after him. The highlights of his day resorted to quietly enjoying lentil soup on a 40-foot dining table and being forced through marathons of America’s Top Model when he’d rather be fuckin’.
You, Mrs. Nordegren-Woods turned the Tiger into a cheetah.
“I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect. I am dealing with my behavior and personal failings behind closed doors with my family. Those feelings should be shared by us alone…”–Tiger Woods
Let’s not get mistaken, though. I could give a flying 9 iron fuck on whether Tiger is satisfied in his marriage (as you shouldn’t either). All I’m saying is the media scrutiny should be minimized to shits & giggles. (Like this.)
Either way, David D. was correct: Jazmine Sullivan for the win!
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.tss.uproxx.com/TSS/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/12/tiger-woods-wins-475-150x72.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.tss.uproxx.com/TSS/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/Sally-Ferreira-lead-150x150.jpg)
The amount of attention and hate he’s getting makes me sad. My opinion of Tiger woods hasnt changed, if anything it has for the better lol. watching these people attack him on the news bugs me.
thats a fly ass bowtie
I’m just happy to see that he had it in him. Too bad he’s awful at playing the game. Shut the fuck up when grown folks are talking Tiger. This shit ain’t for you.
I wrote about this too.
Nice to see your take on it, TC.
I still believe that it’s because nobody showed Tiger how to play the rich man’s game with his wife that he got this minor scuffle. (and trust, it’s minor. He’ll bounce back, and everyone will cheer him again)
Still, just like Hilary, Elin should’ve been taking care of home. LOL
Long lost fraternal twins and/or stunt doubles of his wife. All he ever wanted was you Elin. You probably tuned him out when he came to you enthused about the new suspension on that GMC or how Nike was naming planets after him. The highlights of his day resorted to quietly enjoying lentil soup on a 40-foot dining table and being forced through marathons of America’s Top Model when he’d rather be fuckin’.
===============================================================
Well played. Same thing I was thinking. All he ever wanted was a little attention.
@Quithatinthesouth, same here man. I’m still a fan of dude.
since when was the media not obsessed with stories like these? It’s just become amplified with the creation of gossip blogs and every tom, dick and harry voicing their opinions through them.
Also 97 percent of the time, the athlete (REGARDLESS of color) worth millions and millons has cheated or is currently cheating. And 100 percent of the time, the wife knows. Less than that actually do something about it that doesnt involve getting some action for herself. With boatloads of money come boatloads of “free” pussy being thrown at you every which way.
Use Someboby by Tiger Woods
You see it every time he sinks a ball into the hole on the golf course! That fist pump and primal scream = sexual frustration!!! He wants to be doing that while he’s hittin’ his woman from behind, that’s all! He just needed to sink a hole in one more often!
Let the man get his dick licked every once in a while. I mean damn.
These are our heros!
the amount of coverage and scrutiny (sp?) is crazy, but hey, what’s new nowadays?
@ Ashley Mcgee. Ben Rothelisburger gets accused of taking pussy and Espn issues a gag order. Tiger crashes his car and Espn was demanding an explanation. I guess the super bowl MVP being accused of rape is not as good a story as the best golfer cheating on his wife.
Tiger makes millions playing golf… that’s what he does, that’s all he gets from me.
When he’s back, the ovations will be loud and proud… I mean, what’s thousands of drunk men, doing the same thing Tiger did miles and miles away from their wives at a golf tournament, going to do? Boo him?
This isn’t the NBA, and he’s lucky.
Let the man get his dick licked every once in a while. I mean damn.
=================================================================
Word. Mn cheat all th time.
I’m barely interested in this story. What’s more interesting is how much America apparently cares about shit like this. Just when the Letterman shit died down, now this. Aren’t we a country at war? Is this really news?
“Those raggedy Annies sold you out for 7 ½ minutes of fame. (They had to split ‘em too. Those ain’t rollover minutes.)”
LOLOLOL
What a coincidence, I too came to the same conclusion that I like Tiger MORE after this, mostly because I sympathize. Everyone fucks up, no one is perfect, and blonde haired white women are most often the devil incarnate.
“C’MON SON!!!!!!”
LMAO!!!!
Tiger cannot blame his wife , He did all this to himself indicative of a deep problem that he has and needs to get help for …..He is totally out of control, It is easy for him with all his money, these bimbos are easy women looking for any guy with dollar sign in their foreheads…….I hope he is not dumb enough to shut them up by paying them large amounts of money….He should come clean and they will shut up…….
Look what happened to John Eduards….that bimbo made a child with him, is another way of getting your money……..I hope Elizabethb lives a long time..
Tiger should get help and keep the family together…..
Tiger is just another scumbag and that is shocking. Anyone whose opinion has not changed of him (or think better of him as one idiot here said) are truly morons.
Tiger is just another scumbag and that is shocking. Anyone whose opinion of him has not changed (or actually think better of him as some idiot here said) are truly morons.