Precision, pacing, placement, poise. A sophisticated snap is more than just noise.

Yeah, it’s a canned ass-whooping about to pop open. Few things draw the ire caged in the darkest trenches of my soul like punctuating unnatural neck movements with finger-snapping. Not even nails on the chalkboard can match the irritation factor of a grown man snapping their fingers at the kid. Come to think of it, it’s not just men, women should avoid this heinous behavior as well. Heck, while we’re at it, children should watch it too lest tragedy should befall them by my hand.

For many years, my soul was at peace. But now it seems that an institution has been put in place to train people on how to more effectively perform these blasphemies. Can you imagine an army of finger snapping divas, with perfect form, snapping as they march prance to the beat of the Queen Diva’s tambourine?

Ladies and gents, there’s a war going on outside it seems none of us is safe from. Consider yourself warned.