nas-kelis

Pic snagged from Necole

Lil homie better get to churning out a few records or touring (please remember your lyrics; your financial future is on the line).

A Los Angeles Superior Court judge ordered rapper Nas on Wednesday to increase his monthly child- and spousal-support payments to estranged wife Kelis and their infant son, Knight.

According to The Associated Press, Judge David Cunningham III ordered the rapper (born Nasir Jones) to bump up his monthly child and spousal payments to $51,101, for a total of more than $600,000 a year. Nas has been paying a court-mandated $40,000 a month since July.

The decision to increase the payments to Kelis and Knight, came after a two-day hearing in which Cunningham determined that the New York MC made enough money in recent months to pay additional support. Nas’ attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, said the judge made the right decision and that despite the payment bump, Nas came out ahead in the decision because he will no longer have to pay the expenses on the former couple’s Los Angeles residence.

As if that initial $40K wasn’t enough, hearing $51K really hurts my spirits and a part of my soul dies each time I read it. I think of what I could purchase for that amount that would last me for many moons…and Nasir has to cough that up monthly. At some points, the laws need to be rewritten to the effect that a mother should be entitled to a certain amount of that monthly income and then the rest is set aside into a trust or account accessible only by a neutral third party. The fuck Kelis going to do now? Sit around and bid on shit on eBay all day? What’s the incentive to really get a gig when you’re making that much off a marriage that lasted less than a year?

These are the times I wish I were born with a snatch (||). I’d stay clean and presentable long enough to snag myself a baller, have a baby and then fall the fuck off like Monique’s character in Precious. I’d just sit around, drink malt liquor all day, smoke Black & Milds and just do ignorant shit.

If a motherfucker gave me a guaranteed $51K per month, I’d prolly buy a fucking kangaroo, call that lil niglet Tim and dress him up in custom fitted dungarees. I’d have jungle gyms and monkey bars all around my crib. At $600K per year, I’d have a maid, but not just any maid. I’d have a bird walking around in an outfit like those folks that sell peanuts and shit @ stadiums and arenas and she’d come up to the fifth floor yelling out different shit from the menu as my food options for the day. “Breaded chicken sandwiches! Fish sandwiches! Spaghetti! Get your baked ziti here!”

$51K a month for a newborn. Russell don’t even pay Kimora that much per month. At that price, Kelis better be lactating fucking chocolate milk that stimulates young Knight to be Obama’s successor. SMH.

And the nerve of the judge. Do you not see that? $51,101. And one dollar?!? Really?

*Ends sexist rants*

Nas To Pay Kelis $51,000 A Month In Support [MTV]