Boobie Chew

AUDIO    By Contra™ on October 24, 2009 at 10:32 pm

A little history lesson*, if I may.

Before Kush Support, Shake Weight and Neckline Slimmer, a perv roamed the Earth, scoping women’s jugs intently. Dismayed by their size, or lack thereof, he devised this ridiculous hormone-laced gum that makes bosoms bigger.

At the time, there was this new craze going around known as “Cancer.” He obviously realized early in the process that Boobie Chew would probably just create large tumors where boobie-jelly once existed. Faced with the choice between breast cancer and large chesticles, he surely chose the latter. His buddies at the FDA were probably all for it until the product got shot down by those damn scientists and that dirty fact-based rumor that breast tumors can kill women.

This forced future inventors to get creative and think up David D.’s dream team of bust-related toys.

And that, ladies and gents, is how we got here.

Props to DS™ for the find.

Thank you and good night.

*History according to Contra™. All facts invented in between Newport tokes and Red Bull swigs.

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Posted in AUDIO, EDUTAINMENT, Everything Else, GENERAL, MUSIC, SMOKE BREAK, STRAY SHOTS, Videos — Tags: Ads, Boobie Chew, Breast Enhancement