crazy_old_manWords by Jesse H.

I’ve been helping a retiring professor move out of his office these past few weeks and it’s been quite an experience. Between listening to him awkwardly talk about the MJ media circus, explaining to him that he can actually access his e-mail on ANY computer with an internet connection (not just the one in his office) and hearing him talk about buying “tone arms” (more on this later) on “the E-Bay” for the better half of an hour (and then watching him search eBay in the least logical way possible), you could say I’ve been through a lot.

Luckily, despite his long-windedness, he’s a generous man and keeps giving me items from his office — some of it useful and interesting, some of it old and ridiculous, all of it dusty. I am now one record player (sans tone arm… whatever that is… Trackstar?), one rolling chair and one handsome typewriter (sans practicality) richer than I was two weeks ago.

Where am I going with this? Well, having all this antiquated shit around my room has put me in a back-in-the-day mood, so here’s a few of my favorite old-timer tunes for you geezers out there (and y’all whippersnappers study up now, ya heard?)

Big Daddy Kane – “Set It Off” — Nobody these days has mic presence like this guy. Nobody.

Kool G Rap- “Letters” — “You name the best, I say ‘who?’ like owls, pass me a towel and I’mma move my bowels all over his vowels” Wiping with a towel sounds expensive and potentially painful, but G Rap spazzes on this.

Boogie Down Productions – “9mm Goes Bang” — Most of the production on the two BDP releases sounds way outdated to a young’n like me, but this jam still sounds baby-powder fresh.

Eric B. & Rakim – “No Omega” — I saw Rakim live once. Nearly passed out in excitement.

Ultramagnetic MC’s – “Ain’t It Good to You” — Once I get that tone arm, I’m buying Critical Beatdown on vinyl and spinning that for a day.