56
‘Starface’, ‘Starred for life’, ‘Star Jones’ or ‘Starred Wreck’? Pick one.

As the story goes, Lil’ Kimmy here went to a tattoo parlor to get a mere 3 little stars inked on her face when she fell asleep. As you can see in the picture, she does indeed have 3 stars on her face. But there’s a constellation of 53 right next to them. Outraged, she’s suing the guy that did this to her. You ask, “Who is this fellow?”

Well…

PH1_TATOE_160609_05

That dude. Not so surprising anymore, is it? Turns out they barely spoke the same language, and he looks absolutely batshit crazy. If anyone were to accidentally get inspired to leave permanent etchings on someone else’s face, he would almost certainly look like that.

In his defense, he maintains that she did ask for 56 stars, and that she even watched him etch the Milky Way over half her head. He even has a witness to corroborate these facts.

This sounds plausible considering no one in their right mind sleeps through that many tats. Even Lil’ Wayne would’ve gotten up at some point like “Yo, what the Hell man? Why you got that thing all up in my ear and shit?” (A question we’re sure he often asks upon waking up).

As for these two, they need prayers. Prayers and good lawyers.

“I’ll Pay For Half Those Star Tattoos To Be Removed,” Says The Man Who Engraved 56 On 18-Year-Old Girl’s Face [Daily Mail]