Words By Jason Hortillas

Here’s a message to Red Bull, 5 Hour Energy and all you other energy drinks:

You just got sonned.

If you preach your magic elixirs are supposed to make you sharp and perceptive, looks like you guys weren’t observant enough to come up with an ad like this. Folks, I’ve found the re-definition of the word “alert.” My parting words and props to go to Minute Maid Enhanced, quoting a Hip-Hop cult classic film: “You got the juice now.”