In the LC Weber shopping-mall-circa-1993 analogy, New Boyz is a hole in the wall that sells off-brand fitteds in ugly colors, next to Scrayper Boyz. In the real world, New Boyz is the follow-up act to The Knux and proof positive Warner Bros. isn’t working on lasting careers.

There’s no question “You’re A Jerk” has a catchy beat with deep, driving 808s that could shake the foundation of the smallest booty in America. But outside of bump-ability…this. shit. is. gar-bah-gio. It’s the kind of crapola that sounds great to the girl next to you at the bar after 6 shots of Goldschlager.

To be fair, this music is the second cousin twice removed on the mama’s side of Detroit and Chicago Jit and Juke music — i.e. winding beat with repetitive, nonsensical phrase — and we all know I favor that music. But the Midwest music brought an electronic musicality with footwork overtones. This, however, does nothing but induce migraine with verses even more inane than the hook.

I’d pay good money to watch a battle royale cage fight between all of Cali’s scensters and hip-hopsters, but it’s unfortunate a little skateboarding and plaid mutated so far. I warned you all what tightpants would do.

The Cool Kids were like the housing market a year ago in hipsterville — fresh, innovative, attractive, a sure bet. The Knux were the bubble burst of the boom — wack, over-stylized, over-sold, dookie. Now, New Boyz are the recession, and not in a Jeezy kind of way. In a Oh-Lawd-my-401K-disappeared kind of way. Losses…all around.

I suppose I only opine on this subject because I read over at The Exactly that since my departure from the greater Los Angeles region, “You’re A Jerk” has taken over airwaves on Power 106.

Eeesh…Painful.

But what can I say? I’m not a commercial radio “tastemaker.”

I am a jerk.

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New Boyz – “You’re A Jerk”