Though I have no direct quotes, I’m pretty sure the Commissioner of the WNBA was screaming something similar to that when she found out that the most celebrated athlete in WNBA history (Gold medalist, Rookie Of The Year, MVP in her first year) is going to spend the next nine months carrying a lil bundle of joy around. This means that Parker is going to miss at least part of the next season, which also means that now the few dozen of you that watch WNBA basketball have even less motivation to watch. My suggestion? Don’t even start the season until Candace comes back, because otherwise a game is going to be sporting equivalent of the proverbial tree falling in the forest.
The daddy? Shelden Williams of Duke basketball fame (and current Kings benchwarmer). Yep, looks like Eli Porter is going to be an uncle.
Congrats to Candace Parker for the new baby. Hopefully you have a WNBA to come back to when you’re ready to play again.
Candace Parker Expecting Her First Child This Spring [LA Sparks]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.tss.uproxx.com/TSS/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/shelden_williams_dunks_the_ball_into_his_face-main-150x71.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.tss.uproxx.com/TSS/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/03/marion-jones-main-150x71.jpg)
It may just be me, but I feel like 22 is too young to be having kids, especially when both parents are traveling so much. Play your game, rack up a few more MVP’s and rings, maybe another gold, then have the kid.
I am glad to see that Shelden has put that Duke education to good use. He is hanging on in the league by a string. He best put a bun in dat oven.
Hope for ugly dudes worldwide. Ms. Parker just ruined her family’s gene pool…
More Police Fuckery:
http://edition.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/01/09/new.orleans.shooting/index.html?iref=mpstoryview
Yeah, i think that Sheldon cat might have been tryna stick her with a baby and got her. Some guys like to ‘claim’ good things that way.
Some wisdom to the ladies, if your birth control ever starts to taste like Certs one day then your dude needs to be confronted…
F Duke, ’tis all.
Hope Candace got a pre-nup—she’s gonna clear more than Shel even if the league folds in 2 years (and it will.)
Funny how we expect men to dump the kid off with wifey to get the paper. We’d kill the first guy to say “Coach, we’re having a baby–i need 25-40 games off to help raise my child.”
We’d rake that cat over the coals like there’s no tomorrow. man, you talk about homo /fag jokes? It’ll be nothing compared to the Mr. Mom tirades.
Too bad about the league–that sucker’s busted like a 22 in blackjack. Nobody’s watching the WNBA… Women don’t even watch pro women’s sports.
Does Sheldon look like he’s ever used a condom? This shit wan’t planned.
Didn’t he have a rape charge back in the day?
So i gotta be crass… unlike most of the WNBA, we now know Candace is straight. Or at least putting on one helluva an act.
@MZ
Dude, that’s just harsh.
True. But harsh.
“Does Sheldon look like he’s ever used a condom?”
==
Member the angry black kid from Chappelle Show?
MZ, THAT’S RACIST!!! lol…
For real, tho. I’m not sure what a non-condom user looks like beyond pregnant.
I’m guessin’ this was an accident. Candace got too much to play for. Shelden might hook on somewhere as a 10-12th cat, but Candace… you don’t know what momma hood do… The itties might get all bloated on her. The estrogen might kick in and throw off her game… in short, she might come back a little soft. she’s still young and growing…
Lisa Leslie did the baby thang, but not in her prime. Her body was as grown as it was gonna get by the time she had a child (in her 30s?).
i seriously hope for the best.
“if your birth control ever starts to taste like Certs one day then your dude needs to be confronted…”
Man, Shai… why you gotta be puttin’ our secrets out like that? lol. Shhhhh!
Hope Candace got a pre-nup—she’s gonna clear more than Shel even if the league folds in 2 years (and it will.)
=====================================================
Hell…it just folded on the news of this prego shit
On the real..Candice no doubt is a cutie…but she needs to do something about the slicked down “baby hair”…..I’m only giving Chili a pass on them.
So Doug…
Is Candace gonna be a Milf? And has the WNBA had one yet?
And no i’m not being sexist here… anybody who’s been to an NBA game knows that females don’t talk about banging ballplayers, they simply do. lol!
Is Candace gonna be a Milf? And has the WNBA had one yet?
==================================================
Yep…. and nope, but they do now. lol
^Co-sign with D Howser!!!
Shelden looks like Cro-Magnon Man lol
This was bound to happen…Candice is the baddest female basketball player since Monica Wright (yeah I know).
this’ll be a tough one… i remember the olympic game–them Australians and Brazilian squads was lookin’ kinda right. lol…
i wanna see Candace dunk the change a diaper during a timeout. Yeah, stupid i know; but it’s also gender-politics on some look-what-can-do ish…
She’s gonna give birth, then come back and hang a triple double on somebody.
http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/images/thumb/1/15/Tomahawk.JPG/500px-Tomahawk.JPG
==========
^ nobody saw that on the wiki page lol?
Pray that child gets more of Candace’s genes than Shelden’s or that kid’s gonna be born 80% forehead.
Please. You were all thinking it.
^^^ yeah, dude’s got about a five- or six-head, fuck a forehead…i think i remember his tall-headed ass playin for duke
wait, gurlz can get pr3gnate?
Shelden Federline….FTW!!!!
She’Fed… i love it.
Haha, this cracks me up! Such a great title, enough said. Rough break for the WNBA, but yeah, haha
Haha, this cracks me up! Such a great title, enough said. Rough break for the WNBA, but yeah, haha
Dude looks like the caveman from those Geico commercials!
Its funny that cats say Sheldon should be holding on to Candace but Sheldon is raking in 3.4 million a year and Candace is bringing home a solid 44k. LOL. But I guess with her endorsements they are about even.
big ass head
@ Heff – Sheldon is holding onto Candace because EVERYONE knows that his days are numbered in the NBA. But for Candace, I would’ve forgotten all about him.
and I concur on all opinions relating to how Lisa Lesley waited to have a kid. Then again, Sheryl Swoopes bounced back. I’m sure Candace will do the same. More power to her, cause I for damn sure ain’t trying to push out a damn baby while I’m still in my lower 20s.
In the words of Boosie and the other Jigga City natives…”Pop ‘em 2 by 2!!!!!!!”
^^
Thank you for beating me to it….
We forget about ms. swoops, she made all the right choices in life and now she is consider the WNBA’s top M.I.L.F.!!
I would put some caramel on top of her choco ass and “SLURRRP!!! ahhhhhh!!, can I have some more babie?”…
“slurrp!!”
Cannonz, there’s another community for that kinda talk, isn’t there? lol.
^^
I wrote you a mini novel in the black qb post….
-Oh mah bad, I thought we got the ok:
“there was a lot of research that went into it studying our demographic along w/high traffic posts. It was thus we determined that you all loved smut as much as music.”
…lol, and I love chocolate beauties, just took a look at the bottom of the page at ms. CANNONZ aka serena, no, NO never mind stop looking at wifey!!…
ps.
and SPORTS, go RAVENS!!
off to work, sukaz!!…
Forget Candace, I’m trying to marry Ms. Shai!!! Damn girl, are they real??? (the lips of course)
^ Flea I want to know if the Bottom lips match the Top!!!
She doesn’t even make a third of what that overpaid window licker makes. Have you seen what the WNBA players get paid?
http://womensbasketballonline.com/wnba/rosters/salary.html
This is what Corky from “I’ll fly away” gets paid for sitting on the bench.
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/players/profile?playerId=3040
Looks like ol’ Candace is coming out on the sweet end of this deal. Maybe we’ll see her on “The Real Housewives of Sacremento”.
Ya’ll gotta think long term…I wanna be that kid’s agent. With genes from the best female balla on the planet and a tall (I’m assuming he actually got into Duke on academic merit and not skills) smart guy that’s gonna be the next LeBron. Or Alexandra Stevenson. Either way the agents gettin paid.
eli portetr references ftw
*still wormin bitch*