Winner: Best Comment Of The Year
AUDIO By LC Weber on December 31, 2008 at 2:32 pm
TSS has the pleasure of claiming one of the most colorful comment boards on the Interweb. The discussions are often lively, seldom rude, sometimes incredibly insightful and always entertaining.
On the post for our first “SMH 2008″ nominee, “It’s So Cold In The D,” we indulged in some of the funniest comments, providing the material. But one comment stood out, and, in fact, placed it’s author in the pantheon of TSS’s Fresh Most Respected.
Ladies and gentlemen, Black Canseco, the winner for Co-Star Of The Year by ruling the comments section with the following…
Being from Chi and having some D-town connects, this just reminds me of 11 p.m. in the livin’ room when “company came.”
Oh y’all know little Niecey can sing right? Yeah, she ain’t but 11 but she sound grown.
“Commere let ‘em hear you baby.”
Then up from little Niecey. Standing in front of the TV, which has been off since the 3rd bottle of Jack got twisted around 9:30.
Neicey got her little jeans with the writing on ‘em. A little grease stain from Harold’s Chicken or Doc’s Fishwich on her white and pink waffle-knit undertop, which now has some sweat stains on. It’s hot in the livin’ room and she was fixin’ to go, but momma told her to put her coat back in the “baby’s room wit all the rest of ‘em” cause they ain’t leavin’ right away and that was 3 hours ago.
Now Neicey nervous cause all the adults done left the spade game goin on in the back so they can come hear Neicey’s little impromptu get-down in the livin’ room.
“Com’ girl, less hear it,” Pops says.
“Yeah, less hear it so i can get back to takin’ Lester’s paycheck once i make that book with them 2 pairs i know he holdin’!”
Now Neicey’s momma Darlene, who ain’t but 12 years older than Neicey –- nobody talks about that too tough — just cut the boombox on and puts in a bootleg CD with black writin’ on it that reads “G-Money’s Gangsta’ Beatz,” which is sad because “G-Money” is actually “Greg,” the church organist at Holy Baptist Mother Mary & The Trinity’s House of The Lord in Christ where Greg’s daddy is the pastor. But, you know, a brotha’s tryin’ to get his hustle like everybody else.
So now the joint starts. But then it skips ‘cause the CD’s all scratched up from sittin’ in Darlene’s purse for the last week and a half and the jewel case broke a while back… and them D cell batteries ain’t been changed in a minute. So she gotta turn it off, then back on a couple times to get it working.
Niecey’s nervous ‘cause everybody’s gettin’ antsy so she asks Alize and Trina — her “play cousins” on her uncle side who came over about 3 hours ago — to come up with her and sing back-up. So they get up…
And now they start singing. (Cue clip.)
And in the midst of it, Junior — who’s actually old as hell and doesn’t seem to be related to a “Sr.” anywhere, but used to work at a Walmart back when Kodak had 35mm film — yells out:
“Y’all need to make one of them videos. I’ll shoot it.” — Black Canseco from “A Nominee For ‘SMH 2008…’”
And the rest is history.
As Phonte said to me, “You don’t even understand, Fam… I’ve had so many experiences like this. I’m Black Canseco’s biggest fan.”
Kudos, Mr. Canseco.
Previously Posted — TSS Presents 2008: The Best Year Ever - Third Quarter | Pillow Talk 2008: The Most Slept On Albums Of The Year | TSS Presents 2008: The Best Year Ever - 2nd Quarter | TC Sings The Bricks Part DEUX!!!: The Most Disappointing Hip-Hop Albums Of 2008 | TSS Presents 2008: The Best Year Ever - First Quarter
Onyx - Bacdafuckup
Lyfe Jennings - Lyfe Change
Three 6 Mafia - Da Unbreakables
SOS Band - Sands Of Time (1986)
Mint Condition-The Collection
Z-Ro - Crack
Lupe Fiasco - The Cool
Fort_Minor-Whered_You_Go-Promo-CDS-2006
Del_The_Funky_Homosapien-Made_In_America_(VLS)-1993
Newz_-_New_Talk_Of_NY_Pt._1__Hosted_By_DJ_Envy
VA-Newz-The_Takeover_Vol._1__Hosted_By_DJ_Envy
Gang Starr - Step In The Arena
Rush - 2112 (1976)
Felt - True Tales Of Underground Hip-Hop
Beastie Boys - The Mix Up
Company Flow - Funcrusher Plus
El-P - Fantastic Damage
Mos Def - Umi Says 12”
Posted in AUDIO, Everything Else, GENERAL, MUSIC, SMOKE BREAK, STRAY SHOTS — Tags: Best Comment Ever
Tweet This
Digg This
Save to delicious
Stumble it
RSS Feed
28 Comments
Congrats homie
There’s too many quotables to choose just one lol.
That award is well deserved. Congrats to the Black Canseco.
Canseco you real with it! LOL
Big Up To Mr. Canseco
You da bess mayne!
Rap-Up ‘08
(CDQ)
http://www.zshare.net/download/53522604ab73dbe0/
Nah, that’s some bull. I demand a recount.
I kid. That shit had me rollin’. Congrats, u da best mayne.
Congrats, Home-Cookin’….
G-Money for the win everytime…
Shout out to B. Canseco!! That joint had me screaming for hours!!
Yea. Hilarity. Congrats.
THAT was hilarious!! Congrats, Black Canseco!!
Pure comedy…I was watching Eddie Murphy Raw the other day and when the skit in the beginning started, I immediately thought of that comment.
it was funny……but sounds like the majority of Black families out there.
That comment and T-Baby’s song go hand in hand.
I can’t tell anybody about this song/video without tell’em to visit the post it premiered in and reading this particular comment.
Great nomination.
iunno. y’all knuckleheads crack me up daily. i can’t even smoke while reading tss comments, for fear i’ll choke and burn my retinas or some shit.
but definitely, Canseco took the cake with that shit.
*Canseco comes to the stage, grasps statuette from Gotty and co-presenter, LC. Ms Webber plants one on Canseco’s cheek. Canseco responds with a hug to which LC replies thru gritted teeth, “Get your hands off my butt old man—you’re just an effin’ commenter!”
Canseco obliges then turns to the podium and proceeds to speak:
“First off, I’d like to thank the TSS Academy for this opportunity. This has been the high-point of my career. Secondly, I thank Jimmy, my agent/bodyguard/half-brother on my step-momma’s side… Also big shots to the fellow nominees, Teef, AMP and OED—you’re all winners in my book. I just believe that comments should come from the heart and really add to the column…
*MZ, The TSS Show stage manager begins feverishly waving the “cut” sign from off stage left; but is ignored once, hence the show’s 3 1/2 hour running time*
Lastly, I’d just like to say that as cold as it is in the D, it’s even colder in Israeli vs. Arabs conflict, which i believe to be fueled by oil-hording illuminatti, who are the descendants of the lost Knights of Templar and…
*Gotty balls up his fist and readies to cold-cock Canseco mid-screed. LC pulls out a blade from under her tongue and debates whether to cut the mic or Canseco’s achilles.
Suddenly Hater Chris, stands yells out from the back row, “Nah-nah- nah… let Wack Cansucko finish—y’all picked his derivative punk ass!”
^ LMFAO
LOL, you can’t go challenging the comment of the year with your acceptance speech!
Big Ups Canseco!
That one’s good, but 99% of his other comments get skipped. Half as long, twice as strong please
Congrats Black Canseco
Canseco FTW!!
Canseco, you’se a fool…lol
I remember that one vividly!! But, some of his other classic comments were the classification of tiddus and asses! LMAO
No one more deserving of this award at TSS. While us mere mortals write comments, Black Canseco paints vivid pictures with his words.
Congratulations and Happy New Year
B. Canseco…congrats my nig!
Keep representing the Chi, homie.
Congrats and LMAO at your acceptance speech. Good shit.
Congrats Canseco,
Some of your statements on this blog have been responsible for me bursting out laughing @ work and everybody thinking Im a crazy N*gg@
thats some funny shit, man. congratulations!
and happy new year to all at TSS!