For Bigga

Soulja Boy just may be the only rapper to ever have the luxury of sitting atop the love and hate mountains at the same time. On one hand, Mr. Tell ‘Em is the sole creator of “Crank That (Soulja Boy),” the biggest selling digital download of all time– while on the other, he simultaneously holds rank as the ultimate scapegoat for the decline of musical innovation. Naturally, looking for lyrical fulfilment from a Soulja Boy record is like seeking wifey in a strip club, but even as a party rapper, SB still misses his mark continuously with moronic songs that dive pass the safe haven of “fun” into “slacker” territory.

Which is where his sophomore effort iSouljaBoyTellEm slumps beyond the typical juve-pseudo bullshit and into an aimless wad of irksome synthesizers, lowbrow lyricism, and fart jokes. The initial period of accepting him as rapper/hitmaker has passed. It’s time to actually make hits. And the harsh reality of the matter is, Soulja Boy isn’t doing anything that the average individual with a microphone from Radio Shack® and a bag of Skittles® can’t accomplish. Absurdity such as “Bird Walk” and “Turn My Swag On” sound like they were derived from impromptu studio sessions where goofing off was the theme.

Moreover, the faux-focus doesn’t fare any better as witnessed on “I Pray” which drags through an abundance of monotonous slurring over a nulling sound bed of nails while the self-titled bio finds the generally enthusiastic boy wonder lazily defending his brand with very little energy. The few respectable tidbits, namely the Gucci Mane, Shawty Lo featured “Gucci Bandana” and radio ready “Kiss Me Thru The Phone” will undoubtedly appeal to younger listeners but beneath the surface, they’re simply contrived slivers of bubblegum, barely patching the numerous holes together.

To add insult to amputation, iSouljaBoyTellEm’s production offers little to no atonement for Souljah Boy’s expected lyrical flatulence. SB may have improved on his production but one paper towel isn’t going to dry the ocean. “With My Yums On” and “Whoop Rico” are molar-sized bites of Crime Mob’s “White Tee” and “Knuck If You Buck” respectively, while the syrupy “Yahama Mama” is basic 808s and heartache. Drumma Boy and Mr. Collipark also assist on the boards to no avail as “Rubber Bands” and the aforementioned “Souljah Boy Tell ‘Em” just strengthen the album’s brick status.

While it’s much to soon to completely predict the expiration date on Soulja Boy’s career, his blatant disregard to enhance on his shortcomings do hint that the end could be sooner than long. Acting and licensing merchandise are always viable options for talented stars looking to branch out of music, but by the sounds of iSouljaBoyTellEm, the “talented” aspect remains to be seen.

1.5 CIGARETTES