Gimme a six-pack and half of Harold’s chicken (a good combination), when I gets bubbly (I do it in moderation)…”

I love my Aunt Lou & my cousin, The Other Ty.

They came down here for a funeral this past weekend & brought this to me.

One gallon of Harold’s sauce.

Since I’ve professed my love for it before, I’ll leave out the part about me begging for this for years (To my knowledge, it’s not for sale). Sometimes, I wanted to go in Harold’s & just swipe the squirt bottle off the counter. Tuck in my coat & pray I don’t spill it between that point & exiting the plane to come back home. But imagine going into Cook County, being booked on a misdemeanor theft of hot sauce from a chicken shack…see that shit doesn’t read “gangster” no matter which way you turn your head to read it.

Wouldn’t even have mattered anyways because that squirt bottle wouldn’t be enough because I use sauces on everything I eat. I think it has to do with smoking 2-3 packs of menthol’s per day & deadening my taste buds. I soak everything I eat with either mustard, hot sauce or BBQ sauce. Right now, I’m squirting this on everything — chips, biscuits, gummi bears, sandwiches and, of course, chicken.

Common – Chapter 13