Watching the Detroit Lions get their asses handed to them on Thanksgiving is a painful tradition in the Weber household that both glorifies and ruins the meal. It wasn’t always this bad, though… I remember the traditional Green Bay games of two even-matched teams. I remember John Madden handing out drumsticks of a six legged turkey to the winning linebackers. And I remember Barry Sanders: the only living reason I continue to enjoy the Lions on any level.

I recently posted in the comments the oxymoronic relationship a Detroit football fan has with the Lions. Here is a self-loathing near impossible to describe and better understood by a sold-out stadium clad in Honolulu Blue, staring bleak and blank-faced at the gridiron demigod demolition…

Let it be known that being a Lions fan is the same thing as hating the Lions. They are both my favorite team and my least favorite team in the League. They’re the reason I watch the NFL, but don’t care about it all.

The only people who hate the Lions are the fans. They are so unfeared it’s disgusting. What I love about them though, is that no matter how good a season/game/play seems to be going for them… they WILL find a way to disappoint you like only the Lions can. You never trust a man on that team with the ball. Never believe it will go in your favor.

To sum them up… the Lions are so good at failing, a couple of seasons back they were fighting it out with the Raiders for worst team in the League. All they had to do was lose their last game of the season and they’d get the first draft pick. Yet they won. They spent a whole season losing… and if you do that the only thing you have to do is be the worst for the best benefits. Couldn’t even do that.

Fail.

I love the Lions.

That said, I give you Barry Sanders highlights; my most watched Youtube-age that I guarantee will be better than watching the game. And on this Thanksgiving, I am thankful I get to spend the rest of my life knowing my football team employed the greatest running back of all time, and anti-thankful they squandered that talent.

Happy Tryptophan Day!

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