There may be no woman on the planet with a more magical vagina than Erykah Badu’s. The proof is in the pudding — check her rap sheet of enraptured rappers (Andre 3000, Common, D.O.C., M-1, Jay Electronica) and her affect on them and their music. As Crew member David D. put it, she took Andre from rapping about hanging up on a girl who says she’s pregnant on Southernplayalistic to sangin’ to “Ms. Jackson” about the “Prototype,” and what not.

What’s most provocative about Badu isn’t her sultry swoon and croon on the mic over heavy Hip-Hop — it’s her overtly seductive aura that makes you want to boo her up, all the while knowing she’s the one who would boo you. David and I came up with a list of things Badu has done that seem like they have no place being labeled “sexy,” yet make us feel funny on the inside. Moments that reduced us to middle school crush status for no foreseeable reason. Fleeting images that stuck with us and made us understand the term “Baduizm.”

1) Block Party Wig Removal

LC Weber: It was raining. She was wet. Tearing that wig off in exchange for messy cropped hair was strangely scintillating. Hair burlesque.

David D.: If you watch closely, the rain stops for a second — God took a moment and said “I created THAT!?…Man, I’m good.”

2) “On & On” Video

David D.: I was a lil’ kid when I first saw this video – and Lord knows I wanted to do things to her I didn’t understand. True sexy is when a woman can look enticing while doing the most mundane things and Erykah got that true sexy on lock.

LC Weber: The beginning of my extra long-distance, unrequited, heterosexual-life-partner love affair with a be-head-wrapped Badu.

3) Zoomed In On Chappelle Show

LC Weber: I think Sarah Palin can attest to no woman wanting a camera all up in her face. Pores and all. But gosh darn it if the entire viewing public didn’t want to step into their television set and make an Electric Circus when they got an extra close look at Badu’s eyeballs.

David D.: Man, I’m glad Palin doesn’t look like that… cause my ass would prolly be hitting that McCain/Palin button on Nov. 4th. I mean, dude had closeups of her right cheekbone or left nostril and that shit drove. me. crazy.

4) “Tyrone”

LC Weber: You can hear the dudes in that audience falling in love with her from the second she says, “Brothers, y’all alright?”

David D.: However, the sexiness of this video took some major hits as soon as the over-50 crowd got a hold of this song and started quoting it.
“Boy, you betta clean yo room”
“I don’t feel like it”
“You betta call Tyrone”
“…”

5) “Love of My Life” Video Freestyle (1:45)

David D.: Pink Kangol. Gold Rope Chain. Beatboxin and a whole lotta sexy. I think that wall she beat on needed a cigarrette after the scene was over.

LC Weber: Who you tellin’? *lights Newport*

Honorable Mentions:

– Going Bald

David D.: While this wasn’t exactly sexy, I was wayyy more open to still smashin her than I had any right to be.

– Outkast Appearances

LC Weber: “Liberation,” fam. “Liberation.” Shiiiit… I got goosebumps just thinking about it. And while Andre’s “Too Democratic/ Republic fuck it/ We chicken nugget/ We dip in the sauce/ Like mop and bucket,” made “Humble Mumble” dope, Erykah’s stylings complete a lovely trifecta of the bizarre.

– “The Healer” Limited Edition 12″

LC Weber: I’m saying. Musical ovaries. Magical pussy. This is how we got into this mess in the first place.

David D.: I’m sure if I went up in there, I’d come out writing for Vanity Fair or Elle or something…but I’m pretty sure it’s worth it.