Fourteen seconds.

Not since the great stock market crash of, well, last week, have I seen so many people lose so much money so fast. CBS, EliteXC and Kimbo Slice are now scratching their heads, wondering how to recover now that their cash cow has been processed into dollar menu burgers. In case you missed, here’s the backstory:

Kimbo Slice became a huge celebrity on Youtube by whoopin ass. Over the course of a few months, he went from being homeless to beating the holy fire out of guys to the delight of millions of internet fans. Eventually he got signed to EliteXC’s brand of mixed martial arts fighting. With this mainstream star in tow, EliteXC nabbed a deal with CBS, giving them the largest audience for an MMA fight. Everything rested on Slice’s shoulders. He was the star that would take his insane ability to punch someone’s head off and take mixed martial arts into everyone’s households.

Last night, it all came crushing down…and all it took was fourteen seconds.

Slice’s latest opponent would be Ken Shamrock, a 44-year old washed up punching bag who had lost his last five fights in the first round by knockout. Basically, CBS had their two big names and a sure-fire knock-out for their golden boy from the hood. Well, Shamrock cuts his eye and pulls out of the fight hours before the scheduled match. Instead, some no-name (Seth Petruzelli) who was supposed to be in the opening match of the night was now fighting the killer boxer, Kimbo Slice.

Easy money, right? Yep, easy.

Fourteen seconds into the fight, Kimbo gets knocked the fuck out. Suddenly, it’s over. EliteXC and CBS’s hyped up fighter was humiliated. It was also revealed to most of us (experts knew this from the get-go) that Kimbo can’t really fight. Yeah, he could knock you out in one second, but dude had no skills. He was untrained. He can’t all of a sudden fight people who have trained for years. So in front of a humongous audience, the beast was beaten in the time it takes most of us to tie our shoes.

Kimbo’s career is essentially over. He’s a Youtube phenomenon who literally fell on his face on the large stage. Of course, EliteXC and CBS will lose money that they invested in the big man, but they will regroup. But what of Slice? It’s hard to believe people will see him fight anymore since his myth has been destroyed. But he’ll be replaced. There will be a new guy to take over as a fighting champion to draw in ratings.

Really, it’s sad to watch. Once again we have a guy who was raised in nothing and manipulated his way into money and notoriety who will now most likely be burnt out and forgotten.

And all it took was fourteen seconds.