On a very serious note, I was just looking @ this pic about three days ago, trying to figure out how to work it into a post. Even though we’ve crossed this bridge before, I just needed some reason to post this pic by itself.
Luckily the good folks @ KING gave me more than enough reason to post it.
The occasion you ask? They’re recreating the Power album cover as the 20th anniversary of its release is here.
And let me just go on record & state the facts: If you are over the age of 27 & don’t admit that you wacked off to this cover at least once, I’m going to call you a boldfaced, stinkin’ liar. Or maybe, you were actually born that way.
In my early adolescence, Lord knows I had to have killed @ least one or two kittens in the name of Ms. Ortiz.
Previously Posted — “Full Blown Coverage”
Rakim-The_18th_Letter_Book_Of_Life-2CD-1997
Rob_Base___DJ_E-Z_Rock-It_Takes_Two-Retail-1988
Joe_Budden-Mood_Muzik_2
Blu_And_Mainframe_Are-Johnson_And_Jonson
VA-Gold_Dust_Label_Sampler_Mixed_By_Large_Pro
Bon_Jovi-Slippery_When_Wet
Justin_Timberlake-Justified
R_Kelly-R_Kelly
DMX_-_We_Right_Here-Promo_CDS-2001
Cormega_Feat_Large_Professor-The_Come_Up-(VLS)-2002
Heavy D & The Boyz – Peaceful Journey (1991)
Jazzanova – Of All The Things




that’s a bad broad. then and now.
ice t stayed winning.
y’all know where I’m at on this one:
M
I
L
F
Period
I’m over 27. didn’t damage any socks or sheets over this cover. I simply cried myself to sleep several nights then promptly threw out the cassette art in frustration.
She STILL got it!
Personally, I’m shocked that the shotgun isn’t pointing straight up on instinct.
Btw, Tim McCarver is beyond annoying. i think i’ll be watching the series with the sound off.
side b has too much bikini….not like the before pic. lol
Lol @ killing kittens…
When it comes to that, my stats are rivaled only bt Chinese restaurants…
@ Canseco – you’se a goddamn liar
@ Turk – yup…no justice being done to her hind quarters. Need. More. Cheeks.
If a kitten gets killed tonight…don’t nobody report me to the ASPCA or PETA, lol
Oh, and gracias for the Bon Jovi & Jazzanova joints…
lol@ teeph. u wuzn’t there, b. Darlene in the 80s is too thin for me. Darlene now is making her way up the list of “yes-indeed!”
it’s funny you posted this, gotty, ‘cuz i’ve been using the back view pic as my blackberry’s screensaver for weeks now.
i scanned that shit outta king the moment i saw it.
she still looks hot & i’m STILL in love with her.
darlene… coco… ice-t is DAT NIGGA.
Well then, NOW that she meets your standards…have at it! And keep some Purell Hand Sanitizer close by. lol
Darlene ’08 looks like the fine-ass owner of a nail salon or Thai/Vietnamese/Korean restauarant
Anyways, Darlene then AND now IS a show pony. But she’s kinda old news…
Imagine having a menage a trois with Sarah Palin AND Tina Fey, while Tina Fey is doing her Sarah Palin impersonation…that would be ill, yo…
But real talk: Michelle Obama and her asses >>> Sarah Palin and her glasses
Yeah, I said assES, as in plural…she’s got enough for her, Palin, AND Cindy McCain…ol’ flat booty havin’ heffa
my crush on Darlene of the ’80′s > my crush on Charlene (Janet – Diff’rent Strokes youngins), Tootie (Kim Fields), etc
…and I didn’t even respect the “toe” I so quickly observed as the respectable adult that types before you.
she could get it…… soon as she puts that gun away
’80′s Appolonia, Vanity, & Darlene all at once = global kitten extinction
She’s a fitness instructor now.
How many broads can you think of who have kept themselves like this?
^ Damn shame… lol
Darlene’s legs are in a class by themselves. Always been sexy.
Lisa Lisa of Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam…whoooo, tig ol’ bitties
Darlene>>>>>Tina Fey. body-wise, at least.
Michelle Obama>>Darlene… i say that because deep down inside I’m afraid of Michelle. and i think Barack is too which is why he ain’t gonna cheat on her. She’ll cut him in his sleep. be the the first First Lady to ever catch a case.
Dayum, Darlene got them Chun-Li thick thighs yo
^^ hot grits in the white house
Michelle Obama >>>>>>>>> Omarosa >>>>>>>>>
Condoleeza Rice (ol’ sell out ass bitch)
LOLOLOLOL @ the thought of the media frenzy that would ensue if Michelle tossed a pot of hot-ass boiling grits on Barack’s chest while in the tub….lawd
Michelle: “Yes, I CAN…!”
Barack: “No, you CAN’T, bi—”
Michelle: “…the fuck you just call me, ni…!?”
*splash*
Barack: “AHHHHHHHH!”
speaking of all this debauchery:
the first pron (albeit soft pron) I ever came across (no pun intended)
an Ohio Players album cover.
^ LMAO @ the play-by-play Teef
Who else thinks the first time the 3rd & 4th cousins of Michelle & Barack visit the White House would be similar to that scene in Trading Places where Eddie Murphy breaks the vase?
“You want me to break sumn else?”
“Nooooooooo…”
Yessir! I kept that Honey album for years & years, even after I knew about American XXX lol.
Oh yeah…Ohio Players album covers…and that one Grace Jones joint (you gotta admit, she was rather statuesque)
Best believe Barack ain’t goin’ outwith no chubby intern… he gon’ outsource him some top-choice white girl. He might take it back to Kansas and get one of them KU blondes…
Then again, he might go international and get with something a little more exotic… dutch sweety?
lawd can i tell y’all that the baddest sistah i ever saw in my life was this Morrocan sistah. She we the waitress in a joint i hit overseas. Man, i ordered so much food… i was tryin’ to be the last man standing in that piece. I need to travel some more for real.
They’ll hafta commemorate/inaugurate (or whatver it’s called) the White House by placing a few stacks of vinyl on the floor, by the stereo…and the first few albums in front, in plain view? That aforementioned Ohio Players “Honey” & any Stevie….
Man, (no offense to KU blondes…none AT all) if Barack steps off w/ a snow bunny, best believe her thong string is gonna be a republican wire to record the event.
smh @ the thought of Barack and any future infidelities/marital transgressions he might commit…honestly, personally, I wouldn’t see the need to go out for some grub when the food at home is bangin’ yahmean
The Obama’s ain’t busting out the kenti cloth, Teeph.
Ain’t gonna be no P-Funk or Jigga on speakers sitting up in the windows…
Ain’t no southside cousins of the obama’s comin’ thru for the family reunion…
these two public figures gonna get more media scrutiny than these two. They gon’ be like jackie Robinson–ain’t gon be able to say ish for controversial for they whole term.
tho i gotta admit, i’m curious to see how the obama girls do–the bush girls was doin’ they GGW impression from everything i read… i think the obama girls gon catch some belt leather if they try to get all Simmons girls on us.
^ sheeit, Teef
even skrimp & lobster gets old after awhile…
especially when it snaps back at you…
jus’sayin
Lol @ thong string wire
Barack: “Hey, Meghan…you do anal?”
Meghan: “Gotcha!”
Kobe!
I can see it now…
Uncle Rufus….born & raised on the southside of the chi, raiding the white house liquor cabinet on Thanksgiving 2009
throwin’ back a tall shot glass of some sh*t he ain’t never heard of. lol
Teeph, homecookin’ is the joint, but ain’t nothing more addictive than fastfood booty.
Obama gonna get every kinda booty imaginable thrown his way. International booty. athlete groupie booty. uppercrust trustfund booty. soccermom booty. ghetto booty. welfare booty. blue collar booty. Pornstar booty. Sorority booty. Nascar booty. White liberal booty. Rightwing conservative booty. African continent booty. Central/South American booty. Socialist booty. Capitalist booty. UK booty…
Obama gon’ even get the booty that normally don’t go for brothas. (Y’all know that’s some good booty.)
dude is gonna be tempted like no man before or since.
Plus he gon’ have a crew of people trying to cover for him. Not to mention a crew of folks waitin’ to blow the whistle on it, but still…
Meghan….
*JoJo*
Aww, dag….they can’t even keep no Ace Of Spades on chill in the fridge? Lol
teeph, Uncle Rufus gon’ get a christmas card and a phone call but he ain’t gettin’ clearance for the rose garden dinner.
You know on November 6th every hood member of they family is gon’ be gettin’ makeovers and security background checks. No braids… no timbs/baggy jeans… no grass skirts and hawaiin stuff neither.
the Obama clan gon’ be the safest, most mainstream friendly group of beige and brown people the world has ever seen.They gon’ make the Motown Finishing School look like a public school.
I never spanked it to this album cover for the simple fact that there was two dudes on along with mami. But I might now. She done took care of herself well.
Good lord…the ’round-the-clock scrutinization & temptation….that’d be way too much pressure for me.
God be with that man, lol
I got into porn way too early. I need something a little bit more hardcore to have me reaching for the baby oil LOL!
In other words…they gon’ look like a Bennetton ad, lol
@Teeph,
Obama gon’ need to holla at Jordan and Tiger and some of them black bougie rich folks about keepin’ his game tight.
Mike love his big booty white girls–that’s what did him in with Juanita… but he know some tricks of the trade.
Obama gonna get more panties thrown his way than Maxwell, Teddy P and Prince combined.
Bennetton? nope… i’m thinking that old Wayans intro or the brotha from Boondocks… They gon’ be safer than safe….
I’m talkin’ Michael Jackson turned white girl safe.
Will Smith gon’ look at the Obamas like “damn igga, it’s like that now?”
But y’all know what this means, right? Just like Dubya fulfilled & completed his daddy’s mission, Obama will finish what Al B. Sure started: brangin’ the Lite-Brites, Red Bones, light-skineded & Mulattos back into style permanently
@ Teeph,
My dark-ass is sick of these Al B’s jacking my flow! Oh well… maybe we’ll get a new El DeBarge album now…
*goes digging for the Good & Bad Hair fight scene from School Daze*
Funny how Barack referenced Superman in that dinner/roast the other night, when he jokingly said his father is Jor-El and he came from Krypton to save Earth…the Black Man’s Kryptonite might do him in, lol
And boy, do I LOVE Kryptonite, lol
Too bad Barack is ALWAYS gonna have to tuck his shirt into some snug-fitting sweats whenever he plays basketball
1988
http://d.imagehost.org/0255/2.jpg
http://d.imagehost.org/0153/2b.jpg
2008
http://d.imagehost.org/0280/darleneortiz.jpg
http://d.imagehost.org/0507/darleneortiz2.jpg
^ whoooo!
Side B wins again!
20 years.
Finding a woman who ages THAT well is like finding a holy grail, and I ain’t talkin’ ’bout no vintage J’s either
Milfs and cougars rule
damn.
Super MILF
thats not a good picture of her… I saw her recently at the mall in LA and she looks like she did back then… her body was even more tighter… i think they chose a bad pic…
her face looks old in the pic too…
I’d still smash tho!
I’m 26 so I’ll plead the 5th on this….
Good bless Photoshop…
^ In deed.
If your over 27 and didn’t slay a few kittens to this cover.. I will walk to your house in sweatpants and church shoes and call you a liar. ..