Words by Matthew Mundy

In honor of Blender’s ‘Look at me!’ skewering of pop culture on their – list name verbosity alert! – ’33 Most Overrated People, Places, Trends and Other Junk in Rock’ list, TSS thought we would take a look at their list and pick out a few that seem spot on, a little off or – ahem – bullshit*. Also, I’m unemployed, so it’s either this or drinking, and I’m out of fermented orange rinds.

32. Kiss

Verdict – Spot on.

Because, my friends, Kiss sucks. Also – meteorological accuracy be damned — Gene Simmons is a tornado of human filth swirling through a tsunami of mediocrity rolling its way across an earthquake of dubious talent. If Gene Simmons were a politician, he would be a poor man’s Mitt Romney, if Mitt Romney had a mop of pubic hair on his head.

ReBlendered – Do people still like Kiss enough to make them overrated?

29. Getting Rick Rubin to Produce Your Record

Verdict – A little off.

Have they not heard “99 Problems”? Sure, his recent production credits include Linkin Park and Neil Diamond. But still, “99 Problems” > Every other rap rock song ever, basically.

ReBlendered – Maybe it is overrated. Rubin did produce Linkin Park. And Neil Diamond. And Slipknot. “Egchk!” © Pusha T.

26. Timbaland

Verdict – Spot on.

Sure, Timbo used to be a beast – his work with Jay-Z alone will give him a top-ten producer spot. But his recent work with other artists – aside from Justin Timberlake – has been spotty to say the least. And it’s not getting better. If Timbo gets back to Hip-Hop – and just Hip-Hop – I’ll take this back. And so should Blender.

ReBlendered – Anybody who produces “Snoopy Track” and “Big Pimpin’’ and isn’t canonized on the spot is forever underrated. Even if they do briefly hitch their success wagon to a guy named Magoo.

23. The Music You Loved as a Teenager

Verdict – A little off.

Reason – On the one hand, half the music you loved as a teenager is boiled trash. On the other hand, nobody judges babies for shitting themselves, right?

ReBlendered – I still get super excited when a song I used to love pops on the radio, even if it’s objectively terrible. That’s immediately followed by immense guilt and regret, but whatever. Knock it off the list.

19. “The Haters”

Verdict – Bullshit.

“You see me. Hi Hater. Hi Hater. Hi Hater. You see me. Hi Hater.” The remix is disgusting.

ReBlendered – It’s a silly and all-too-easy fallback position for every middle-of-the-road rapper/artist/blogger/accountant who even gets a whiff of success.

18. Lists

Verdict – Bullshit.

My life wouldn’t be worth living if I couldn’t rank stuff.

ReBlendered – I refuse to ReBlender that. Lists are manna from heaven.

17. Ring Tones

Verdict – Spot On.

Because not enough people like “Ten Crack Commandments” to make ringtones worth it.

ReBlendered – It’s a quick and easy way of judging people before you meet them, at least. Saves some time.

10. Bling

Verdict – Spot On.

I’ll just copy and paste the latter half of Blender’s write-up: “And, sure, there is something magnificently absurd about Rick Ross’s diamond replica of his own head. But enough already. They’re glorified sparkly nuggets of carbon, they’ve brought about untold human-rights atrocities in African mines and their scarcity is a total fabrication anyhow.”

ReBlendered – Have you seen Fabolous’ chain? With a straight face, try to tell me that it’s not awesome. Impossible. Plus, the whole Yung Berg thing was kind of funny.

7. The Grammys

Verdict – Spot On.

I remember when I was younger I hated the scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where the dude rips the guy’s heart out with his hand. Every kid has movie scenes like those. Well, for me, The Grammys is the grownup version of the Temple of Doom heart-ripping part out, only it takes four hours, and it’s not exciting, and I actually have things to do with my time now. Like write lists based on lists.

ReBlendered – Jay-Z once boycotted The Grammys because DMX wasn’t nominated for one. It was a valid boycott, of course, but the thought of DMX attending The Grammys these days makes my heart leap a little bit. In a really awesome way.

6. Cocaine

Verdict – A little off.

Clipse’s Hell Hath No Fury. That album is absurdly great, and if it weren’t for cocaine, it would just be an instrumental album. A great instrumental album, of course, but an instrumental album all the same.

ReBlendered – DJ Khaled. One can only assume, right?

1. 2Pac

Verdict – Bullshiiiiiiit.

First, one can only assume that Blender put ‘Pac on the top of their list because they wanted to sell more magazines. And that they hate Hip-Hop. Second, it’s insanely off-base. Yes, ‘Pac gets tons of love, and continues to loom over all of Hip-Hop. And yes, he wasn’t the most technically gifted MC ever.

However, his music was incredible and his influence undeniable. The fact that he continues to loom over all of Hip-Hop like he does reflects not on the fact that millions of hip-hop fans have been hopelessly swept off their feet and the music he made continues to resonate with large swathes of America. It’s as cliché and flat-out wrong as saying The Beatles are overrated – sure, they may not be your cup of tea, but they did damn near bulldoze, like ‘Pac, the landscape of both music and popular culture.**

‘Pac is one of, if not the best to ever do (the best as far as I’m concerned), and whining about his deification isn’t going to change that for a second. He embodied everything Hip-Hop is – its complexities and contradictions, its virtues and vices, its highs and lows, its beauty marks and blemishes. He was Hip-Hop, is Hip-Hop and will forever be Hip-Hop.

ReBlendered – The only potential way that he is overrated is when you look at the masses of rappers who, lacking any creative ideas of their own, substitute ‘Pac’s persona for their own. But you don’t blame ‘Pac for that. You blame Ja Rule.

The 33 Most Overrated People, Places, Trends and Other Junk in Rock [Blender]

* Historical precedent in hip-hop criticism hasn’t been kind to our friends at Blender – they once ranked Common among their worst lyricists in all of music, leaving one to wonder if a) they have ever listened to Resurrection, b) Electric Circus was the only Common album played on the short bus and c) they hate peace, love and Gap. Your guess is as good as mine.

**That said, Paul McCartney sucks.