When we posted that Elmo video, I was reminded of a painful memory I had long repressed. No, this isn’t some sort of disturbing Sesame Street story. Instead, this is a story about how over the years, Scarface has scared the living shit out of me.

Let’s begin with the video from the aforementioned Elmo lip-syncing:

I know some of you are gonna feel old, but I was around 5 when this track came out. For some odd reason, my sister thought it was a good idea to play the song for me. Needless to say, I didn’t really have an appreciation for the imagery of the lyrics. I just recall nodding my head to the melody and thinking the phrase “my mind is playing tricks on me” was interesting as I kept repeating it after hearing the song.

Then, I saw the video.

I don’t think I was in a dark room for at least two weeks after seeing Bushwick Bill run around in that Halloween costume. Then, when the homie started punching the ground, bloodying up his knuckles, it was a wrap. Lil’ David D. was at the foot of his parents’ bed for about a month.

I was like eight. I fell and hit my head at school. I cried. Two of my “friends” decided to sing “I never saw a man cry till I saw a man die…” until I charged at them in a snot-slinging fury of Power Ranger kicks and chops. Later, when I saw the video, I was ready to understand what my antagonists were talking about so I could be cool. When the guy in the video dies and a single tear fell down his cheek, I had that cold feeling in my chest you get when you realize you’ve been fired or caught cheating. After seeing this video, it would have damn near taken a gunshot wound to put a tear on my cheek. And every night before I went to sleep, I had to check and make sure that scary guy with the deep voice and black hat wasn’t sitting next to me to close my eyes for me.

Childhood friend: Aggin, you see that Scarface video? Tupac is in it. I told you he was alive.

Me: Naw, they must have filmed it earlier.

CF: Man, it’s been like 6 months, they don’t film that shit THAT early. It was his ghost or somethin’.

Me: You trippin. I bet it was some look alike.

*Young David D. watches video*

Me: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

*Scene*

When I began writing this, I thought it would be fun to look at how scared I used to be at Scarface’s chilling videos (that I now understand only accentuate his dark details and ability to reach into the gruesome aspects of our subconscious). But dammit, these joints still make me feel a little uneasy. Call me what you want, but I’m hooking up my Lite Brite before I hit the sack tonight.