Words By David D.
Shaq has officially performed the most famous freestyle ever recited.
The controversy surrounding the freestyle revolves around Shaq making Kobe the butt of most of his punchlines during the freestyle session repeating the phrases “Kobe couldn’t do without me” and “Kobe, tell me how my ass taste” (with an insinuated “no homo” I guess).
I woke up this morning to SportsCenter, “Mike and Mike In The Morning” and more middle-aged white guys than I ever thought I’d see analyzing the art of going off the top of the noodle. They apparently think that this video shows how Shaq still has ill feelings about Kobe from all those years of beefing on the Lakers. Of course, Shaq says it’s all in good fun. Especially the lines:
“That’s why I’m getting divorced. He said ‘Shaq gave a bitch a mil’/ I don’t do that cause my name is Shaquille/ I love ‘em. I don’t leave ‘em. I got a vasectomy, now I can’t breed ‘em.”
Ha…ha?
But really though, I could give a shit about the Kobe thing, but when dude starts talking about his vasectomy, someone should’ve started the Hack-a-Shaq to force a sub.
Of course, Shaq released a statement:
“I was freestyling. That’s all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what emcees do. They freestyle when called upon. I’m totally cool with Kobe. No issue at all. And by the way, don’t forget, six albums, two platinum, two gold. Anybody who knows me knows I’m a funny freestyler. Check the NBA DVD when I was wrapping about Vlade Divac during my first championship run. Please tell everybody don’t make something out of nothing.”
I don’t know if anyone read that like I did, but to me that paragraph said:
“blahblahblahTWOPLATINUM,TWOGOLDblahblahblah”
*Sets rhyme book on fire*
The only thing that would be mildly rewarding from this video would be if someone in the mainstream media asks:
“Hey, who’s that little guy with the mic next to him?”
Here’s a video of said “little guy” to counteract all this bullfuckery
Ahhhh…I feel better.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.tss.uproxx.com/TSS/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/ricky-rubio-blake-griffin-475-150x71.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.tss.uproxx.com/TSS/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/kobe-bryant-shaq-475-150x70.jpg)
Shaq’s best work since what’s up doc can we rock
lol not one “pause” Shaq? shits comedy. When I saw Kobe diss on the post I assumed there would be one or two subliminals lol that was NOT the case. Dude musta had a few drinks in him rappin about his vasectomy abd shit tho. Patrick Ewing loses again….
The second time I listened to it, the chorus made me uncomfortable lol. Shaq had to be twacked the fuck out of his mind to pull that shit lol.
but when dude starts talking about his vasectomy, someone should’ve started the Hack-a-Shaq to force a sub.
=========
LMAO
ridiculous….”tell me how my ass taste?”
Next you know he’s gonna make Shaq-Fu two on PS3 where Kobe is the bad guy….that had to be a lot of liquor to get Shaq busted enough for that
“That’s why I’m getting divorced. He said ‘Shaq gave a bitch a mil’/ I don’t do that cause my name is Shaquille/ I love ‘em. I don’t leave ‘em. I got a vasectomy, now I can’t breed ‘em.”
why the hate? these are some nice bars…especially that vasectomy line. off the top, too? well done, Big Cactus…well done.
i don’t know if he still has ill feelings. if you don’t like a nigga, you don’t like them, period. i think kobe taking that L last week was just ammo for these raps.
and the statement is just damage control, of course, and the “totally cool with kobe/no issue” part may all be b.s., but in defense of shaq (no pun intended), he’s got personality for days. he may also be one of the best freestyle rappers not only in the nba, but in all of mainstream hip-hop. have you listened to the radio recently? i’d take shaq over any number of cats out right now.
Shaq is suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch a bitch that it isn’t even funny
shaq funny as shit. but what about neyo a millie he pretty nice too
http://www.zshare.net/audio/13957682b4f36f89/
“blahblahblahTWOPLATINUM,TWOGOLDblahblahblah”
—————–
My thoughts exactly. ahahaha.
SMH @ Headline grabbin Shaq.
If you ever get a chance to read it, Shaq’s autobio is pretty damn funny.
I thought that shit was funny… all the way through.
Kobe’s gonna reply back and get Tyra Banks to sing the hook to the joint.
Let’s see what Ice-T has to say about this bullshit.
It was funny. he took jab’s at alot of people including himself.
ya’ll some hatin-ass hatred-filled niggas…the next rhyme shaq writes might be about YOU. lol
i don’t think the Cactus reached for the headlines as much as he had the headlines thrust upon him.
i’d like to see shaq and rasheed wallace in a battle.
I have to agree..that shit was funny as hell…stupid…but funny as helll!!
Drunk Ballers Shouldn’t Rap.
i blogged this up last night. Short of it is, it makes me long for the days of Fu-Shickens.
What up Doc?!
all i know is if a negro asks me how “his ass taste”, we either ain’t cool or we about to be not cool.
while the chorus was quite gay…i did laugh out loud.
what does it say about Kobe that people would cheer a fairly wack freestyle by a drunken non-competitive emcee dissing him?
if this Shaq were teeing off on Tim Duncan or even Derek Fisher, the crowd would’ve booed him.
i’d like to see shaq and rasheed wallace in a battle.
————————————————————————
ive always thought that rasheed looks like the long lost member of the wu-tang clan circa 1996, just grimey as shit
aww damn…now he lost his Sheriff’s badge over this shit :-)
http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/basketball/nba/06/24/shaq.kobe.rap.ap/index.html?cnn=yes
“blahblahblahTWOPLATINUM,TWOGOLDblahblahblah”
Exactly.
I was laughing the whole way through… thanks David!
? ?? ???????? ?????????? ?????? ???????
??????? ???????????
????? ?????????? ??? ????! ?????????? ?? rss. ???? ????????? ??????.
? ?????????, ??, ??-?????, ?? ?????????? ??????. ??????? ???????. ?????? ??? ? PM, ??????????.
???????? ?? ??, ??? ??????????… ? ????? ???????. ?? ??? ????? ?????? ??? ????. ???? ?????? ? ???????. ?????? ? PM.