The Other 2007 Hip-Hop Awards

GENERAL    By TSSCrew on December 30, 2007 at 8:28 pm

Preface By Gottyâ„¢

That damn TC couldn’t leave well enough alone.

He already told you of his biggest disappointments of the year.

Now, he’s gone & teamed up with Patrick to designate their recognition of select members of our beloved hip-hop community. So this time, not only shall you direct your hate/love/discernment towards TC, you can pitch it to PM too.

The whole Crew will be in effect before 2007 ends with a few more picks. But for now…

The Other 2007 Hip-Hop Awards

Words By Patrick M. & TC

The Bill Clinton Award for best leveraging of a Federal Investigation

DJ Drama

Before the Feds busted him and Cannon in January he was just another mixtape DJ. Now he’s dropping videos with more rap stars than the NBA All-Star games and getting Outkast on his albums. Maybe TSS needs to get busted to take it to the next level. We didn’t say that.

The Karl Malone in ‘97 Award for ironically proving the irrelevance of the voting bloc

The 2008 Grammys

Its nominee for Best 2007 Hip-hop Album…Kingdom Come! Did they not notice Hova dropped a better album in…uh…2007? Nah let’s just go for that other one from…2006. Now that we think about it, they are probably only going off that Budweiser commercial with Dale Earnhardt Jr.

The Chad Hugo Award for slept on group member

For the 14th straight year, we’re giving it to Daddy Fat Sacks.

The Greg Oden Award for Enigmatic Rookie Year

Joell Ortiz

These two guys’ 07’s mirrored each other. They both created crazy buzz through performances at lower levels that showed the talent to potential dominate the big boys. Yet their first forays were derailed by circumstances (bad knees, bad record labels,) that leave us wondering about their futures. We’ll give you a tip. Bet on Greg over Joell.

The Other Greg Oden Award for Failure to complete the Season

Eve

After a #1 single in “Tambourine”, her record label reneged on the release of Here I Am visibly shook from the upcoming fourth quarter releases. I mean it’s a man’s world but damn! Grow some balls.

The Jason Kidd Award for the Hall of Famer that still brings it

Pharoahe Monch

Organized Konfusion dropped in 1991. Other than Scarface, who else from that year is still dropping albums that make top 10 lists?

The Michael Jordan in a Wizards Jersey Award for coming back flabby and sick

Ja Rule

The once mighty media machine attempted a comeback when it seemed like the smoke had cleared when he dropped the lukewarm “Uh Oh” featuring Lil’ Wayne. Just when the record started to pick up steam, 50 Cent deliberately released the smash single “I Get Money” to give the world that Rule Baby amnesia. UPS is still hiring, word to Biggie.

The Shaquille O’Neal Award for Worst Example of Passing the Blame When the Biggest reason For Your Failure Is in the Mirror

A tie between 50 Cent and Swizz Beatz

Both artists blamed their disappointing albums sales on poor marketing efforts by their labels.poor marketing for their disappointing Album sales.

We call on both these men to stand up and look in the mirror. Curtis, Kanye embarrassed you because music fans are tired of hearing you release the same album under a different title. And As for Swizz Beatz; buddy, people didn’t buy your album because you can’t write more than three lines without repeating the same phrase and you sound like you have marbles in your mouth. In the words of Ice Cube, stick to producin’.

The Stephon Marbury award for the Motherfucker that’s going a little crazy

The Rza

From the weird, polarizing beats from 8 Diagrams (Patrick likes them, TC…ehhh), to the outrageus interviews, to his increasingly abstract raps, he may be losing his grip on reality.

The Eye Candy Award for best gravatar

K a.k.a. Arrogantly

Sorry fellas, but it’s gonna take some serious visual wizardry to compete with K’s skin-tastic pics. Most of y’all don’t even have a grav. Let’s make that a New Year’s resolution, O.K.?!?!

The “Rapture” Award for the hot single that did the most to undermine the art form

“Crank Dat”

Maybe the best example of this since “Ice Ice Baby.” You know it’s true. (Changed from Ja Rule cause we use him earlier …)

The Paola Mendoza award for the Picture most likely to be pinned up

Ask yourself though - where will it be pinned up? I’m guessing prisons and Provincetown.

Rookie of the Year

Rich Boy

Alabama Hip-Hop. The phrase sounds about as kosher as a peanut butter and mustard sandwich. But from the heart of Mobile, Maurice Richards told the world he just bought a Cadilliac and they responded with “Throw some D’s on that bitch!”. From the star studded remix to the moving “Let’s Get This Paper”, Rich Boy snagged a gold certified album and his place among the seasoned sophomores looking to break into superstardom.

MVP

Kanye West

If you hate the fact that he’s the chosen one, the chorus to “Stronger” was as ingenius as the sampling of a Daft Punk song. But if having the highest charting Hip-Hop album of the year wasn’t enough, Kanye pushed his work into new directions, refusing to repeat previous formulas for success.He expanded hip-hop’s boundaries, continued to contribute standout production work to some of the year’s best albums, and became an international superstar while suffering a personal tragedy that only drew him closer to the adoring public. Say it with us. “M.V.P.”

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