So Paris Hilton is finally in jail.

And for a few days, the world will focus on more important matters. Like Foxy Brown’s next arrest warrant.

Do I sound cynical? If I do, it’s only because the media’s out and out obsession with the daily activities of an irresponsible socialite smacks of something outside of the realm of gossip. It’s like standing underneath a rotten rain gutter…you know it has to be fixed, but you get indecisive about how it will be fixed and who’s going to fix it. Then you get the attitude of, ‘maybe it’ll be good for the lawn.’ In short, you get so used to it that you don’t care. You tell yourself it’s only celebrity gossip. Something to laugh at or shake your head in disgust at before you switch to ESPN. And there’s the rub, as William Shakespeare would say. Because poor little Paris is serving her time and serving a purpose.

Look at it from this angle. Paris Hilton is the embodiment of an old saying used to define young debutantes in ths country back when Ozzie and Harriet were all the rage: “free, white and of age.” Which meant that all their trespasses could be forgiven if they moved past these episodes and became key figures in society. If she had no family empire embodied by her name, she’d be just another one of those chicks you knew from a college near you. The one who’d suck down a few beers and chase it with a couple of bong hits before making out with a roommate of hers. She’d get serious, get a nice business ensemble and possibly be an administrative assistant. That’s the key thing…Paris is loved because she can always generate controversy. And she’s hated because she’s proof positive that not only does money not buy class, apparently it doesn’t buy underwear if you tend to be loose.

I care about this story only because of my casual disdain for Paris Hilton. I care only because I’m curious to see how well she’s going to fare in an environment that forces her to see the other side of fortune. I care because I know someone’s going to step to her about her little racial moment caught on videotape. I’m interested because I revel in the fact that she’s making someone ashamed. I’m interested because she’s a trump card I can easily use whenever someone decides to scapegoat hip hop as an overly bad influence on society. Now that she’s in the clink, maybe the papers will actually devote their front pages to something less sensational. But wait…Brittney and Lindsey are still on the rampage.

Sarah Silverman Ethers Paris @ The MTV Awards.

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