After a woman meets a man in a bar, they talk and end up leaving together. They get back to his apartment, and as he’s showing her around, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of them – all arranged in size, from the smallest on the shelves along the floor, to the huge daddy bears on the very top shelf. Although surprised, the woman decides not to mention this to him.
After an intense night of sex, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the woman rolls over and asks smiling, “How was it?”, “Well,” says the man, frowning. “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Feel free to share your own jokes in the comments section and amuse us.
Art Blakey – A Night In Tunisia
Amel Larrieux – Infinite Possibilities
Dame Grease Presents Live On Lennox
8 Ball & MJG – Comin Out Hard
Donnell Jones – Life Goes On
Donnell Jones – Where I Wanna Be
Donnell Jones – My Heart
Apathy – Baptism By Fire
DJ Jus Ske – My Mind Is Playing Tricks On Me
Dwele – Live @ The Jazz Cafe
Fela Kuti – The Jazz Side Of Fela
Ice Cube – Kill At Will (EP)
Jim Jones – Ambitionz Of A Gangsta Mixtape
La The Darkman – Heist Of The Century
Remy Shand – The Way I Feel
Consequence – The Wait Is Over
Q-Tip – Open (Unreleased)
N.E.R.D. – AOL Sessions
Death Cab For Cutie – AOL Sessions
5th Ward Boyz – Ghetto Dope
Terry Callier – What Color Is Love
Biz Markie – All Samples Cleared
Biz Markie – Biz Markie Never Sleeps
Hollertronix – Never Scared Mixtape
Diplo x M.I.A. – Piracy Funds Terrorism Vol 1 Mixtape
Diplo x Mad Decent World Wide Podcasts 1 – 12
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1. This little boy goes into his father’s room, running in screaming he says “DAD, DAD, DAD!!! Guess how old I am?” The man pauses dishevled. looks down at his feet and barks in spite, “DAMNIT!! It’s your Birthday isn’t it?” The kid replies with excitement, “YEP!!” The father replies hesitantly, “What are you 12?” the boy quickly replies “Nope 13.” The father says “Shit. I hate this…go tell your grandma she loves games like this.” So the kid sprints to his grandmother’s room. “GRANNY, GRANNY, GRANNY!!!! Guess how old I am?” Grand mother is watching TV, looks up from the TV at the boy and says, “Come here.” She unbuttons his pants yanks them down and starts rubbing his balls. After kneeding them for a minute or two she says, “13.” the boy asks, “How’d you know?” She replied, “I heard you tell your father.”
2. What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earndhart have in common?
Their last big hit was the wall.
Got this the other day at WWTDD:
3. Why did Princess Di cross the road?
she didn’t buckle her seat belt.
“1. This little boy goes into his father’s room, running in screaming he says “DAD, DAD, DAD!!! Guess how old I am?” The man pauses dishevled. looks down at his feet and barks in spite, “DAMNIT!! It’s your Birthday isn’t it?” The kid replies with excitement, “YEP!!” The father replies hesitantly, “What are you 12?” the boy quickly replies “Nope 13.” The father says “Shit. I hate this…go tell your grandma she loves games like this.” So the kid sprints to his grandmother’s room. “GRANNY, GRANNY, GRANNY!!!! Guess how old I am?” Grand mother is watching TV, looks up from the TV at the boy and says, “Come here.” She unbuttons his pants yanks them down and starts rubbing his balls. After kneeding them for a minute or two she says, “13.” the boy asks, “How’d you know?” She replied, “I heard you tell your father.”
AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Gross but hilarious!
There is no link for that consequence, cant a nigga down, get a drink, get some bitch ass?????????????
How do you make Martha Stewart cry twice?
Fuck her in the ass and then wipe your junk on the drapes.
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
They both come on little crackers…
what’s up with a link for the NERD AOL sessions?
where da link to -> Jim Jones – Ambitionz Of A Gangsta Mixtape
The text file should be fixed @ this point.
why didn’t JFK jr. shower before he flew to Martha’s Vineyard?
he knew he’d wash up on the shore.
what’s the difference between Micheal Jackson and pepsi?
one’s a popular sof drink and the other one rape’s lil kids. (no idea why it is funny but it makes me laugh).
i have a ton more, but they are all awful. i wish more people would participate, i love getting new jokes.
Veego – We have five thousand people who don’t comment lol…
Anyways…
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
“Mother, where do babies come from?�”
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy�s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.� The child seems to comprehend.”
“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?�”
“Jewelry, my dear.”
A young blonde was on vacation; and driving through the Everglades.
She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way,
but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the “no haggle on prices” attitude
of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, “Well then, maybe I’ll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!”
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, “Little lady, just go and give it a try!” The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator.
Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots that same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her.With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp.
Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back………
Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she
shouts out, “$HIT… THIS ONE’S BAREFOOT TOO!
Should children witness childbirth?
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The
house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to
hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped
deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she
was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was
born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his
bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then
thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she
thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded,
“He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place……smack his
ass again!”
props for that apathy baptism joint…yall should do a session with him!….keep up the good work,1
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common?
They both come on little crackers…
*FLAT LINED* ROFLLLLLLLLL
this is like watching dude get gold at the Special Olympics…he might have won, but he’s still retarded.
Thank you thank you thatnk you for that kill at will I think that was the last EP that I bought, cassette tape. thank you.He should have put Dead Homiez on that bootlegs and B sides.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a zit?
Zit’s come on your face when you’re a teenager.
Why don’t you ever go down on a chick in the morning?
Ever tried to pull apart a grilled cheese sandwich?
a few of the linx aren’t even in the stray list…Remy Shand is on some Prince play your own instruments shit..didn’t get the push from his label a few years back..
^ No stress. I’ll get the complete list updated & available later today (2.5.07)